Mandy Davis - Diva of Deception

MY HERO

2012-01-18T20:48:00.009Z

MY HERO

He only made it two weeks past his 69th birthday but he was so proud of that one – he told everyone on that day that he was soixante-neuf! He died in December 1992 of a massive heart attack – which I believe was in answer to his fervent prayers. You see he didn’t want to live as an amputee and, the night before the doctors had told him that he would have to lose his leg… Who am I talking about? My dad….

You know about my mum - well I should give you the rounded picture and introduce you to my dad.

Matthew Davis was born in the East End of London in 1923. London in 1923 and grew up there with very little money but a very loving home. He would always boast that he was a true Cockney, born within the sound of Bow Bells. He grew up there with very little money but a very loving home. He had a sister, Estelle or Baby Stella as she was known for too many years, and he idolised her completely. He himself was still called Mattie by his aunts and uncles well into adulthood – although to everyone else he was always Matt.

School was JFS, the Jewish Free School, where the pupils were given a pair of boots every year as so many of them had never owned any. He loved learning, anything and everything but he had to leave school at fourteen to help the family finances.

As a youngster he would spend the weekends roaming the streets of London and one of his particular favourite haunts was the Tower of London itself. He became friendly with some of the Yeomen there, or Beefeaters as they are colloquially known, and he learned many tales which were passed down verbally to the fraternity rather than written in the history books. He never stopped learning about his favourite city – right up until he died. Every week he would spend an hour in the local library reading through the Encyclopaedia of London. We would say: ‘What letter did you get to today, then?’ and receive the reply ‘Oh, I’m at E or F or G – and did you know…?

Dad loved to tell stories, particularly based on the history he’d learned, He would share great chunks of his knowledge with us as soon as we were old enough to understand words. Whatever the story, true or a bit made up, he would give us graphic details and end the whole thing with ‘And I know this – because I was there!’

Of course I believed him completely, well he was my dad so he wouldn’t lie! Whether stone age times, the Armada or his favourite – the Great Fire – I really believed him – until I reached an age when I could understand the twinkle in his eye when he said it! I still hoped, against hope, that maybe he had some sort of magic potion or time machine that meant he really did manage to be present all those amazing events. Because of this attitude of his I grew to love the writings of Charles Dickens because there was a man who really was there!

He was in the army during World War II - he was a Gunner and that meant being a driver too. He was always stationed in the UK and escaped the worst when he was on weekend leave and returned to find all his batallion had gone over to France while he had been gone - thus saving him the carnage of the final push. He was finally invalided out due to asthma - which he never suffered from again once the war ended.

He studied at night and became a dress designer with his own factory and eventually, when i was very small, he opened a market stall on Saturdays, and on Wednesdays from 1973, in St. Albans - the first in the country to have a changing booth so customers could try on the dresses instead of taking a chance.

He loved watching magic, really loved it, and instilled a love of it in me too. He also loved comedy and musicals. Side by side we’d sit watching Tommy Cooper, Fred Astaire and Paul Daniels (not in the same film you understand). Mum didn’t enjoy these at all – her love was horror in the form of Dracula and other gory tales – but she sat alongside us as dad and I wallowed in our magical musical enjoyment.

When I was nine and a half years old my dad was ill. I didn’t understand what was going on – I just knew that there was whispering in corners, phone calls from doctors, rushing out to hospital appointments. I spent one day in school crying the whole time. Then they explained to me that he had too much sugar in his blood and had to stop eating sweet things because he was overweight.

Six months later my parents noticed that I had become very thin and with the same symptoms! Sure enough I was diagnosed with diabetes too – but as a child I had to start giving myself injections twice a day.

I spent ten days in hospital learning to do it and then one of my parents had to learn too. My mum bottled it straight away – she was not going to stick needles into her beloved daughter. So Dad had to hide his revulsion at the task and take on the responsibility. He did so with love and anguish because he felt that he was somehow responsible – the shock of him getting ill had possibly given it to me he’d been told.

But he set the tone for the rest of my life when he sat me down the first time I tried to cope with that injection at home without the safety net of the nursing staff around me:

‘Mandy, you have to remember always: this is not an illness, it’s just an inconvenience.’

And that is how I’ve lived my life – because my dad, my hero, set the scene and made it possible for me to do so.

MY MUM

2011-04-30T17:30:00.003+01:00

When my phone sprang to life at 7.10 a.m. on April Fool's Day I didn't answer it. I saw the name on the front telling me who was calling and I switched it off!

Maybe you won't understand - maybe there are some of you who will.... it said that Mum on the label, meaning the home where my mother had lived for the past seven years and two months. She had Alzheimers' Disease - she didn't know where she was, she didn't know me, she could no longer talk, sit up, feed herself... alll she could do, and that was rare now, was smile.

When i saw the name and the time I knew they weren't calling this time to tell me she had a scratch on her face or a Urinary Tract Infection (quite common in either elderly ladies or homes, I was never sure which). IT WAS OVER...

She had gone. Oh, I thought, my poor little mum but she is at peace now. And I turned off the phone and dozed.. for about five minutes and then I listened to the voicemail from the staff nurse telling me to call them as soon as possible.

Yes - that had to be The Call. So I dozed for another ten minutes because i knew that, from the moment I called them, my day would change; my routines would change, my life would probably change too.

And then, at 7.25 I made the call.... I really don't think that fifteen minutes made a difference to anyone apart from me. In those fifteen minutes I came to terms with the news before I heard it and was able to be composed when the staff nurse answered the call and burst into tears which told me exactly what I was expecting to learn.

I was composed because I had lost my 'real' mum two or three years earlier when she stopped being able to walk, to know who I was. I lost her when she began to babble more than talk; when she kept asking me if her dad knew where she was.....

And just who was my mum? I will tell you:

Little Myra – our little mum – she never changed! From the day she was born in Leytonstone in 1926 until the end, she never changed. She was always little and she could always switch on a huge smile that warmed everyone around her.

Her parents, Rosa and Hyman Kossack, spoiled her endlessly – but although their only child was charming with her tumbling bright red curls, she could be a liability too - as all sorts of mishaps happened around her.

Mum’s earliest memory was when the family chauffeur drove into a milk cart and the horse neighed through the open car window, absolutely terrifying her.
Then there was the time she was running ahead of her parents on a beach – and disappeared shoulder deep in quicksand which needed fast reactions from passers-by to save her.

Then there was the cat’s meat – delivered every day and pushed through the letterbox in a paper parcel. Our grandma was very angry at the end of one week when she thought the tradesman had been cheating her on weight… only to find that Little Myra had been eating it in secret!

Mum was an accomplished child ballet dancer – till one night a make up artist tried to strangle her. She was a great ice skater in her teens – until she broke her leg!

But the accomplishment we were all most proud of was the fact that she was a boxing champion too! We still have the certificate that she won – and she would often put up her fists in mock fighting pose to anyone who appeared to challenge her.

When Myra was eleven the family of three moved to Edgware. The original plan was to buy a house in Canons Drive – but at that time Jews were not allowed – isn’t that incredible? So they settled in Purcells Avenue and mum went to North London Collegiate School.

She became a teacher at Parkside School in Green Lane. She was known to all as Miss Myra and, right up until she moved away in 2004, she was often greeted in this way by past pupils or their parents when she wandered through the Broadwalk. In Edgware.

Our little Mum hated the war and always told us of how she would hide, terrified, under the heavy dining room table when the bombs were falling. But the GIs loved the beautiful tiny teenager with the 18-inch waist and long red ringlets and they would try to flirt, calling out ‘ Hi Red’ when she walked down the street.

Myra met Matt on the beach in Cliftonville and this was one holiday romance that lasted forever. When dad passed away 18 years ago, they had been on 42 years of honeymoon, they never called it a marriage.

They built their home in Harrowes Meade and we still have the photos of it from the moment the first bricks were laid.

My brother and I were born - not necessarily in that order - and completed their happiness. We were brought up in a traditional Jewish home, full of love and laughter, and with a great respect for education.

To give us the best start in this, Dad took on a market stall, selling dresses, in St Albans and mum, the most unlikely trader of all, thrilled in matching the customer to the outfit with unnerving accuracy – and took great pride in the fact that theirs was the first stall in the UK to have a changing room!

Mum was secretary to the Market Federation, St Albans branch, using her love of routine and her great admin skills. She was always doing some sort of good deed within the community, - getting people to donate to charity, for instance, far beyond their original intentions… once she had smiled that huge smile.

She learned to drive in her thirties – it only took five attempts at the test! She was a well known sight in Edgware, driving her little white car with yellow duck transfers hiding the dents and our cocker spaniel on the front seat.

Once Dad had passed away, and then Alzheimer’s struck, Mum continued to be fun and friendly, needing constant social activities throughout the regression; she was still able to make friends and chatter away when she finally moved to the Nightingale Home seven years ago.

To begin with she led an enjoyable life with activities three times a day – from keep fit and concerts to films and theatre outings – she just never remembered she had been to any of them afterwards!

I know she was very happy and settled during that time and she made good friends before the deteriorations really worsened. She left us peacefully, aged 84, without physical illness. But that huge smile – it never left….

Goodbye Little Myra, my mum.....

ABOUT TIME TOO! UPDATE....

2010-10-16T14:43:00.004+01:00

Yes I know! I've not blogged for over a year... it's inexcusable!

But I just happened to glance at my blogs and honed in on one from June 2006. It made me cry...

Back then I talked about my mum and the deterioration from the fun loving, forgetful, somewhat confused individual who, for the most part, enjoyed the community living and activities at the Nightingale home and was usually glad to see me when I arrived....

Now the story is far from cheerful, a bleak and probably all-too-familiar one to those who have gone through this gloomy tunnel from the beginning to the end.

Mum was moved from Ronson Floor in 2007. She was placed on Lady Woolfson - one of two secure units for dementia sufferers. She was there till this year. I would like to say the changes happened slowly but that wouldn't be quite true.

Mum's ability to talk any sense at all diminished quite rapidly. Soon she was reduced to a kind of 'rap' now and again which centered around the words 'bibbity bobbity boo' and spoken rhythmically and with some pace. After an outburst of this kind, it seemed to take her by surprise and she would collapse into giggles - yes she still giggled like a small child.

Her walking continued, all over the wing as she was now not allowed off her floor as she had been able to do previously. Then, one day in May last year I got a call to say she had collided with a carer and fallen. She was sent off to hospital to check that her bones weren't broken. She had survived unscathed but they discovered a Urinary Tract Infection and kept her bedbound on a ward for a week. She returned unable to stand up from a chair without help and her days of running around the corridors were over.

And so it was... I visited - probably not so often now - at suppertime so I could feed her and in this way have some interaction with her. Otherwise I would be sitting next to her on a chair, bereft of conversation, maybe talking to her about people she had long long forgotten - even her son and grandchildren unknown to her as, indeed, was I.

Almost a year to that day in May I got another call. This time they found that her arm was broken and had, once again, packed her off to hospital. I won't go into details but the fracture was a spiral one and she was kept there for three weeks without being taken from her bed.

She returned to the Nightingale but, this time, to a different floor. Samson is bright and new, a lovely place to be with carpeted bedrooms, as opposed to linoleum, and caring, dedicated staff. There is now no capability of sitting up unaided so she lies in a bed-chair all day. However staff who had dealings with her during the past year tell me she is more relaxed and happy now - and I do feel that this is true. There are more smiles and less grumpiness overall considering grumpy is the usual state of play these days.

And so she sits - or, rather, so she lies.... day after day... unable to deal with anything for herself, not even think....

Is this a life? Yesterday I had a call to say that a friend's mother had died in her sleep at the age of 79. Am I selfish to wish that it was me in that position? That my mum would leave us now, in her sleep, freed from the prison of her demented body and mind. I feel guilt at thinking that but deep inside I know that it would be for the very best... she has done no harm, let her go in peace - and sooner rather than later for all our sakes.

FRINGE FUN ON THE DOORSTEP (PART 2)

2009-09-02T11:24:00.013+01:00

Now that the Fringe season is over I can look back on the month and say that we had some extraordinary fun seeing some of the best, and worst, at Camden.

I've already expounded on the ill prepared actors and acting in OAPz (oh, didn't mean to name it - for more detail read previous blog!) and also on the joy of Shazia Mirza who was one of the best things we saw....

The Ten Commandments turned out to be a student rag - or so it seemed. It was a full house - but full of friends and family of the cast who tended to laugh to extreme at their mates dressed in women's clothes or similar rather than at the tag lines of the gags which were mainly predictable although there were occasional flashes of brilliance - but too few.

We saw Mr & Mrs one Sunday evening and found it to be a fascinating script but not particularly lively in deliverance which made us rush to the programme afterwards to see who the actors were - only to find that they were playing themselves, two stand up comedians talking about what it's like to live together and be married. Of course this is one we could do better! So watch this space....

Thirty minutes later we were back in the same studio for 'This is a Chair'. We felt cheated - it was a bare forty minutes worth and never seemed to say a great deal that made any sense. I suppose it was modern and thought provoking but who knew that the cameo of a two adults allegedly encouragng a baby to eat was in fact a statement about anorexia? Various scenes were played out with different people playing different parts of stories that had no beginnings or ends, just middles. Afterwards Rob discovered it had been played to critical acclaim elsewhere so that no doubt casts doubts on our abilities as reviewers...

'Breaking Legs' was a great improvement At last we started to see some drama we enjoyed and understood! A dialogue between understudies backstage was funny and fascinating at the same time as they vied with each other to try and, for once, be on stage playing the parts instead of watching in the wings.

'Vera and the Sea' was powerful and well acted by all but one of the cast who tended to bring out a reaction in me like squeaking chalk on a blackboard. However this ghost story of abuse and manslaughter kept us gripped throughout.

'A Dinner Party' was another dialogue with great substance and took us to a different venue as the other plays were all at the Etcetera and this was at the Camden People's Theatre which was a venue we often see on our way home from The Magic Circle.

However the best piece of all had to be 'Shaft' - a powerful, funny and telling play about girls backstage at a pole dancing club. The characters were acted with great realism and were so very different from each other - and the pole acrobatics were amazing in themselves! Raunchy as could be, it was not really the time to be sitting in the front row as eye contact was worrying to say the least!

All in all, though, we had a great time seeing the good, the bad but not the downright ugly at the Camden Fringe and we discovered some amazing eateries too! An Indian restaurant in the Stables with a buffet at £6 per head or a vast Oriental buffet at not much more which included desserts of many kinds - and a Mr Whippy ice cream machine and cornets to fill! What more could anyone need from a night out?

FRINGE FUN ON THE DOORSTEP!

2009-08-13T18:36:00.005+01:00

The time flies by and then it was our first wedding anniversary and we hadn't had time to get used to being newly marrieds yet!

How to celebrate? We thought we might go away towards the end of the month.. then we thought we wouldn't. We thought we'd go to the theatre... and then we thought we wouldn't. We thought we'd celebrate on the day itself... and then we thought we wouldn't (I was working all week so we decided to wait till the next day which was Saturday).

And then we discovered that Camden was having a Fringe! Oh joy or joys! We could do the kind of thing we love doing best - but without having the travel and accommodation expenses we'd have going to Edinburgh (and we couldn't afford it this year what with credit crunch and all).
In case you are wondering what this pigeon is doing here - it's the emblem of the Camden Fringe!

We have decided to 'do' the Fringe all month as and when we have time. So we got a Chinese takeaway (and we have the very best of 'em near us) and had the most brilliant anniversary evening watching the DVD of the wedding! Oh how we laughed at Graham's speech! Oh how we giggled at Brian and David's appendix to their official (?) reading. Oh how we gloried in seeing our friends once again, some who hadn't surfaced in our neck of the woods since the day!

Then on Saturday we enjoyed two one-person shows at the Roundhouse. We wallowed in the wonderful wisdom of Shazia Mirza's observations and fell about, albeit guiltily, at Scot Capurro's audacity in offending absolutely everyone. Then we wandered into the Stables courtyard and found the most fantastic Indian buffet meal for a mere £6.00!

Yes - it was meant to be our paper anniversary so I suppose tickets for shows count as such. And a glorious time was had with the promise of more...

... until today. We went to see another Camden offering 'as seen on TV' and came home deeply disappointed. What had the promise of an hilarious hour fell at the fences with actors losing their ways, forgetting their lines and a shortened plot that must've lost lots in the editing from two hours down to one! I won't name it, for decency's sake, but it did make me wonder what else is lurking in the depths over the next couple of weeks.. delights or dispairs - watch this space...

BRIAN'S TAGGED ME - AGAIN!

2009-07-17T17:04:00.010+01:00

It's been a while since I've either read Brian's blog (or anyone else's) or written my own but I've been compelled to do this now as Brian has all but given up on me! He apparently tagged me over a week ago and I hadn't noticed because I hadn't visited!

It's an arduous meme too 26 answers required, with pictures to stop it being boring as it's all about me! So here goes:

Age: No answer, too many young magicians read this!

Bed Size: Double - because other sizes are expensive and we don't seem to spend big money on house stuff. The duvet is king size though - does that count?

Chore you hate: Is that the one I don't like doing but do anyway - cleaning the loo, washing the floor. Or the one I hate so much I don't do it - washing windows, gardening, decorating, putting things away!

Dog's name: We don't have a dog now as we never know when we are going to go away. When I was ten my grandma nagged my aunt to go rescue a dog advertised free in a newspaper. Once she'd brought it home my grandma said 'What do you want a dog for, better you give it to the children!' So our family of two adults and two children (three of whom terrified of dogs) acquired Sherry the Cocker Spaniel or, to give his full name, Sheridan Ostler of Ware, He stayed with the family for around fifteen years and when he had to be put down as he was so ill my brother told everyone my mum was the 'dog murderer', because she'd taken him to the vet, for years afterwards.

Essential Start your Day Item: Cocopops (when I'm home) and prunes in hotels.

Favourite colour: Blue since a child but nowadays loving pink so guess i've mellowed.

Gold or silver: I thought i loved gold but I think I prefer silver as it shows up so much better whether tanned or not.

Height: 5' 1.5"

Instruments You Play: You should be glad the answer is none! Can't even sing and that is not being modest, it's true. No sense of rhythm, [refer spoken word to music!

Job Title: Magician

Kids: One son, Hadleigh, who lives in Phoenix.

Living Arrangements: Now what does that mean? Who with? Type of house? Owner occupier or rented? I live with Rob, my partner of 16 years and husband of 11 months in a terraced ex-council house.

Mum's name: Myra - sadly she doesn't know her own name now, let alone mine.

Nicknames: This might give my age away - I was called Ricey at school because of the prominence in the news of Mandy Rice Davis and in teens was also called Randy Mandy for no reason at all other than the words rhymed!

Overnight Hospital Stay other than birth: Mine or someone else's birth? Mind you, Hadleigh's birth was not the first time - I was there for nine weeks, six before and three afterwards. I was in hospital as a child for: adenoids, then for a hole drilled in the bone of my nose to stop mucus traveling to the brain and killing me within hours (I don't know, I was two but my mum said so). Then there was a few years gap till ten and was in for two weeks to learn how to inject myself with insulin; then... wisdom teeth; infected lymph gland; benign breast lump, hysterectomy. I should also include the two weeks I stayed in a London hospital but was allowed out during the day so they could monitor blood sugars - had a great time shopping, theatres, films, museums! Well... you asked!

Pet Peeve: Being patronised!

Quote from a movie: I can never remember things like that from movies although I want to. I suppose the obvious one - 'I'll think about that tomorrow!' from Vivienne Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind - or 'I am born' from any production of David Copperfield.

Right or left handed: Left which makes learning card flourishes and fancy stuff difficult.

Sports: Absolutely not! Not playing nor watching!

Time You Wake Up: You have to realise we don't even think about going to bed before 3 a.m. and lately it's been nearer 4 before putting out the light so wake up tends to be around 11.

Underwear: Always

Vegetable you dislike: Beetroot and cooked spinach. The spinach reminds me of the night we arrived late at a hotel in Belgium and they did us a favour and made us supper - Eggs Florentine, poached eggs on a bed of spinach. I can still see my brother crying and her my mum and I retching as my dad insisted we ate it so as not to offend anyone!

Ways You Run Late: If I'm working I'm always early. But if I'm meeting people or just going somewhere like visitng my mum or deciding I must leave the house to shop or go to the bank - I misjudge how long everything will take me before I go out or how long the journey will be or start doing things that 'will only take a minute'.

X-Rays You've Had: Give me a break - you can see the list of hospital visits I've had! Most recent one was a couple of months ago to see if I have Arthritis in my hands - but I don't.

Yummy Food You Make: Good old-fashioned Jewish Chicken soup. Oh - and a mean Christmas turkey! Take your pick - I please everyone!

Zoo Favourite: Whipsnade! Seriously - I love that zoo. You can drive from area to area and the animals appear to have freedom but it's not like a Safari Park so you don't have to be confined to your car either. I also love Regents Park - and although I remember Brumus the Polar Bear cub, my favourite Zoo animal was Guy the Gorilla.

So I'm done - I know that no one else will do this but I feel honour-bound to tag people so I am tagging Rob Cox and Mark Lee! Of course, Hadleigh, you don't have a blog yet but consider yourself tagged too!

COMPUTER BLUES II

2009-06-17T13:31:00.006+01:00

You take it for granted don't you?

Sitting down every morning to mindlessly delete all the penis enlargement ads or the selections of drugs available at the click of a button... reading the emails that actually are addressed to you from people you know.

Tell me - how did we manage without Google? Everything you want to know is there plus many things you didn't! Every twist and turn of your day can involve googling something that will improve life in general.... where is that restaurant Joe mentioned last night? Which is the best way to get to the next appointment? I must send flowers to friends in the US... I must buy that book they were talking about on the radio.. It's all there at the click of a google button - and then it isn't!

All I did was reboot, honest! I heard the start up sound, I heard certain programs whirring away and even the final opening of Skype which always signals the completion of 'restart' but... nothing! A bewildering black screen showing no light at the end of the imac tunnel. If in doubt - reboot again. So I did - and still nothing.

It was the end of the line for my five year old machine. I'd overworked it to extreme and it had decided enough was enough in spite of the extra memory and the recent clean up of files it had breathed its last. I needed to find a repair man - but I couldn't google it so had to rely on others t do that for me.

A mac specialist gave advice over the phone but it didn't help so he called back to make an appointment to visit.

'Tell me straight' I demanded, 'What are the chances of you coming over here and still telling me I have to buy a new one?' 'Extremely likely,' was his reply and so I knew what I had to do. I needed to look for a new computer - but I couldn't google it!

Eventually I did the only thing I could do - with no money available but a currently unused John Lewis store card in hand I drove down to Brent Cross and returned clutching the unlimited joys of a brand new machine with lots of exciting new on screen gadgets.

Now came a new problem - how to get the information, and some old familiar applications, from the old onto the new when you can't see what you are doing. It's easy, they said, just connect the two by firewire. So I tried but a photo of the backs of both proved that one had a 400 fitting and the other an 800 although the wire was the same at both ends - they don't warn you about this anywhere. A new cable had to be bought but this still didn't do the trick - and desktops are heavy to carry through heavy shopping centres to Mac Stores however helpful they profess to be.

In the end a PC experienced hardware friend came over and performed an autopsy, removed the hard drive and connected it, eventually. I had to check that he had the 'special screwdriver' that a friend in the US advised was needed. Turned out that he did have this but was thankful I'd mentioned it as he would not have brought it with him. The outside screws were quite normal but once you got inside.... However now I could transport most, but not all, of what I wanted and needed.

So here I am - a new computer with lots of things to play with. I haven't had time to do much investigating yet but I'm back with my beloved Google to answer everything once more. What more can a girl need?

MAGIC WORKSHOPS - THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME

2009-06-01T14:29:00.007+01:00

It's official - well put it this way: I have truly discovered my metier in this uncertain world of magical entertainment.

I have alway known that i could teach - just don't have formal qualifications. My problem was that I have never been that sure that I knew enough to set myself up as a teacher, even of the basics. So although I launched highly successful one-off corporate workshops, I couldn't bring myself to suggestion follow ups. I was an excellent tutor for people who have no knowledge of magic but would love to learn a little to impress friends and even to add to their selling techniques. These workshops have been very sought after and I continue to infiltrate corners of the City, working with companies who wish to entertain top clients and offer them meals plus something extra and different. However I've always kept these as one-offs, not prepared to go back and take these people to the next level. However...

Last week I ran a series of half-term workshops for teenagers in an East London borough. This time I'd be working with the same group for ten hours of instruction.

I have to say, though, it was great! The kids were very focussed and interested, only one had short concentration span and I had a very enthusiastic teaching assistant who helped out with one boy who was autistic. She had a brilliant time learning magic - and taught the crowd the infamous 21 card trick (every non-magician who says to a magician 'I can do a card trick, can I show you?' invariably does this one! Twelve had signed up for the course but we lost three brothers due to the fact that the eldest already had amazing card skills but wasn't interested in learning other tricks such as rope magic or mind reading so they only came along for the first day.

The remaining nine had to 'put on a show' in the last part of the last day, and that was particularly worrying, but they all came up trumps; they performed for thirty minutes and had a wow of a time. We ended up with only three card tricks, two rope tricks, one book test and one escape performed by two magicians simultaneously. So it was a varied show and their performance skills improved greatly over the four days. We had started with all of them shuffling their feet, swaying from side to side and talking to the floor. We ended up with them all looking at the audience and standing relatively still... although some forgot their opening line 'Hello, my name is ......... and I am a magician!'

I really enjoyed myself and am looking forward to repeating the exercise in August. Last week's group all professed a desire to continue to work with me but the organisers are loathe to do an improvers' group so I have to start again with new kids... let's hope they are just as good and as receptive and I have a super summer too.

So - now I can say, without hesitation, that I can take a group and give them a series of basic workshops covering various disciplines of magic so that everyone will have a really great time and learn something useful too! After all anything that helps you to stand up in front of a crowd and not fall flat on your face has to be a worthwhile endeavour!

So contact me for your group - but be warned, before you begin you have to sign a Magician's Oath not to tell.

Can you keep the secrets?

COMPUTER BLUES

2009-05-05T11:34:00.007+01:00

Been up for ages.... Rob has a hospital appointment today, for the severe ear infection he's had since before the wedding in August although he now believes he can see the light at the end of the tunnel or, at least, the ENT doctor can - but maybe that's the problem! Or is it this....

I have to be ready to go out, over to Sharon and Jack who are old friends living nearby. We have been teaching them computer skills - or how to do just the things they want to do on the computer which was given to them by a well-meaning relative....

Jack had done a beginners' course but he is of Moroccan and Israeli origin and only learned those languages during his formative years at schools. So his written English skills leave a lot to be desired. We take the teaching thing very slowly and I'm quite proud of their progress in one day a week sessions over the past three weeks. Both of them can now get Google and look for things they want:

For Jack it's Moroccan music and the newspapers on line so he doesn't have to wait for Sharon to finish reading them on a Sunday before he can do so!

For Sharon it's how to find cheap flights to Israel (no such thing!), how to email family (daughter and grandchild in California and Jack's family in Israel), how to download photos of said grandchild and how to use Skype.

Meanwhile... after a huge saga of trying to get a microphone to work which we've now accomplished, the whole thing started to run soooo slowly that it's just impossible to use and, although it has a very fast connection, it seems unable in the last week to hold it's internet connection. Sooo....

A BT man is coming today - between 8 and 1 - and one of us has to be ready for him to arrive as we can't leave S & J alone. They won't understand a word he says!

So I've been up early.... but it's 11.21 and no sign of him yet.... I just hope he turns up but you know how these things can be..

THE IMPORTANCE OF NO IMPORTANCE

2009-04-07T14:57:00.009+01:00

My friend Brian Sibley has tagged me! I have to come up with six things of no importance about me - and then tag six other people (and he's used up all the best ones!)

It's important that the things of no importance are important enough to be considered of no importance - surely it can't be six things of no importance that are so not important (yes I know but it fitted better!) that they are not important enough to even be here?

I could easily come up with six things such as:

1. I brushed my teeth this morning
2. I am sitting at this computer doing this instead of cleaning the kitchen
3. I feel peckish
4. My desk is a mess - as is my side of the office.
5. I want to link this to my web site and don't know how.
6. I having nothing to do on Easter Monday

Well - those are six things of no importance aren't they?

But they aren't six things of no importance that are important enough to warrant being in a list of six things of no importance... and I think that they need to be.

So let me think:

1. When I was eight I went to a fancy dress party and didn' t know it was a fancy dress party. I was teased so much that I took all my clothes off and said I'd come as Lady Godiva! I always make sure I'm in fancy dress if required now - in case the urge ever returned because now I'd definitely frighten the horses as my grandma used to say!

2. I bought a watch in a sale at the fashion department of Woman magazine where I worked. It had no winder (no batteries then) and I took it to the jeweller around the corner to have one fitted. He demanded to know how much I had paid and all I could say was 'not much' as i was embarrassed by the price - I should've confessed as it turned out the watch had no works in it at all! He thought I'd been well and truly 'done' but I had only paid 2p and I never told anyone that...

3. I learned ballet from the age of 2 and a half. I stopped when I was 11. When I took up tap as an adult my mum retorted: 'Well you were a fairy elephant when you were three so I don't think you will have changed much!' And I was very thin in those days too!

4. When I was told I had a baby brother I said: 'I'd rather have a poodle!' and when asked if I preferred the name Barry or Bradley for him I chose Barry... he was called Bradley, I think the rot set in then..)

5. The last present my mum ever bought me was a lilac and white teddy called 'Smiles'.

6. I won't be celebrating Passover this year as the kitchen is being decorated - bad timing!

So now I have to tag six people... who to tag?

Who reads this apart from me? I know - let's do it another way:

If you are reading this then you are tagged! :) So do your six things of unimportance about you and let me know! I can guarantee Mark Lee will read it and maybe Eudora and Suzanne - you know who you are!

ALI BONGO - WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT YOU?

2009-03-13T17:04:00.009Z

Back when the last Harry Potter book was published Ali Bongo and I had a really super day holding workshops for children who had won a competition. Ali was very taken with the owl - but decided in the end that he probably didn't have house room for it!

I have lost a very dear friend and supporter who attended every single Young Magicians Club workshop and was an inspiration to all - he was always available to help with tricks, presentation and all types of magical knowledge. He did say recently that maybe he ought to learn some advanced card skills as most of the members were far better than he and kept asking him for advice!

Ali was one of the few people who understood my aims without me having to spell them out and he was able to help a lot of them to come to fruition. His invaluable guidance has made me a better magician than I could ever hope to be and his confidence in me has helped me to believe in what I do and what I am. We were not fair weather friends but he knew I was always on the end of that phone line when he needed to talk things through or just wanted a bit of company. He has left a huge gap inside of me as well as in the lives of many, many people of all ages.

And we'll all continue to do the Foxy Wrist Tie!

TRANSPORTS OF UNDELIGHT!

2009-02-03T20:05:00.008Z

Everything happens at once! Did the most truly awful magic booking on Saturday and to add insult to injury I had no car so had to lug a suitcase onto the underground train and later onto a bus too. The journey there was uneventful unless you count getting on the wrong platform for the first train out; getting back up a double flight of stairs to head to the right platform and then finding that the train had left so had to clamber back down again.

The journey back was a different matter. The route had involved a ten minute walk down hill to get there - so come back was going to mean walking uphill! No problem, there was a bus stop just along from the hall... except the buses that came lumbering up the road failed to stop for the four of us standing in freezing, but thankfully not snowy, conditions. We were then informed by a passerby that there had been an 'incident' on the Northern line and that the stations were closed! How was I going to get home?

Well, finally a bus came along with a little room and I asked if it was going to Kennington as someone had told me that there were chances of trains on another line. No, the bus wasn't going there, it was stopping at Clapham Common.. but I met a lovely girl with a dog, a restorer of harps, who so very kindly escorted me from the relevant bus stop to Clapham Common Station which, thankfully, was open after all (the others up to there had been closed because we could see them from the bus!).

Thank you wonderful restorer of harps - your company was excellent and when I left you I managed only a minute's wait before I was able to drop into a seat on the train and sit there till the end of the line!

However... lugging said suitcase damaged my weak back rather badly and I was in agony working at the restaurant on Sunday. I could not have driven my car if I'd wanted to - and I wouldn't have wanted to when I saw the snowfall yesterday! My car looked very cute last year when it received a covering of the white fluffy stuff - don't know how it fared this time as it was away at the Body Shop being preened and painted.

GREAT MINDS - OR ONE TRACK?

2009-01-29T12:34:00.003Z

I was mindlessly staring at the titles of my junk emails - in case a regular one had fallen into the cesspool by accident - and www.buycosmetics.com caught my eye. They sometimes have the products I need so thought I'd take a closer look but instead of eye shadows and perfumes I was greeted with a completely different concept which I thought needed deeper consideration...

Welcome to BuyCosmetics
If you want to have an instant 2 cup-size increase then be amazed by the Shape Changer Uplifting Contouring Bra. Just search our website for 'shapechanger' and watch the demo video.

So I did! I'm intrigued - if I buy this product will I really zoom upwards and outwards in the same animated way as the ladies I've just seen? Could this be my entry into performing magic in burlesque shows? All these thoughts and more crowded my brain as I wandered across to read Brian Sibley's thoughts for today...

... and what did I find? That we were ambling along similar, yet parallel rather than shared, roads!

http://briansibleysblog.blogspot.com/

2009-01-13T19:14:00.006Z

I can't believe it's been almost six months since I last blogged! That is untenable! That is ridiculous! It's definitely time to regroup!

OK - I know it's already 13th January but resolutions have to start somewhere and I resolve to blog a lot more often, at least once a week. I know, I know - I said that before....

This time I mean it - even if I've nothing to say I'm going to blog. I'm going to link this blog to my web sites and post even if I only comment on something really trivial.

At the moment blogging is the only outlet I have as I've lost my voice! It's quite bad, I can't be heard on the phone at all so can't talk to anyone. It's been like this since Sunday afternoon: I started a new residency - that is I am now performing magic at a family restaurant in return for a main course and the opportunity of giving out my publicity so that people will get a sample of my magic and see that they can book me knowing I'm going to do a really good job for them.

So - halfway through the afternoon my voice started getting croaky and it's just got blatantly worse and worse so that I now sound like an adolescent boy! Actually they are probably more constant than I am - and more audible! So tomorrow I'm off to the doctor's in the hope that all can be revived in time for my close up performance at The Magic Circle on Monday night.

Meanwhile... I have to bring you up to date over the next few days. All sorts of things have happened since I last visited my Blog and I've seen all sorts of magic shows so there are loads of photos to share with you.

In other words - in the words of Al Jolson - you ain't seen nothing yet!

2008-08-25T12:43:00.005+01:00

CAPTION COMPETITION

2008-08-04T14:42:00.002+01:00

I've caught the idea of a caption competition from Brian Sibley - and just couldn't resist doing one when I saw this photo from The Magic Circle British Tea Party at the Society of American Magicians' and International Brotherhood of Magicians' joint convention last week in Louisville, Kentucky.

What on earth was going on? Well - what do you think? What was said? Closing date for entries when I get back from honeymoon on Saturday 16th August.

TAGGED - MUSICALLY!

2008-06-29T11:49:00.003+01:00

I can do it! Thanks to Rob actually stopping as he passed by my computer (behind him in the office!) and a few wise words from him I can now 'play' and post videos from YouTube on my blogs!

So - back to the tagging...

I think that the original tagger had a different idea to the one which Brian has picked up and run with but I'm following Brian's lead and going for songs I love best because I'm not really a music person particularly.

The added complication is that the ones I've been listening to currently are the ones for the wedding! And I don't want to reveal those until the day; so...

I agree with Brian that 'When you Wish upon a Star' is fantastic and am I the only person who cried when it played at the Disneyland, California, castle even though the edifice was totally under scaffolding at the time? I know people usually cry when they hear it and see the castle - but scaffolding??? The music of Mary Poppins, all of it from the Disney version, is absolutely amazing. However my greatest piece is 'Feed the Birds' but it has to be this version with Julie Andrews singing her heart out - tears every time.

In no particular order I follow this with a double whammy; I was looking for a Danny Kaye piece, a song called Bloop Bleep, and I fell upon this with two of my heroes as Louis Armstrong duets here. I know the song is hackneyed but I love the the mimicry, the word playand the scatting that they do towards the end :

I love the Soweto Gospel Choir, have always loved that type of music, and have found this clip of their rehearsal for the Live Earth Concert. You can still feel the magic, in spite of their 'day clothes' and the conductor is so immersed in his work, it's just electric:

Well - this has been a road of discovery for me! I didn't realise... I have always enjoyed gospel music, voice without instruments rather than instruments without voice. I found the above bits to represent this and thought 'Well, I've got a gospel choir - how about some Jewish prayer music?' And that was when realisation hit me! I was brought up to go to synagogue every week, Hebrew classes three times a week and that's not counting High Holy Days - all the music I heard was there, without instruments and that included the folk songs too. So that is what has formed my tastes, isn't it? And I never knew!

This performance is of particular relevance to me. All my young life I grew up supporting Russian Jews who were totally oppressed and struggled to maintain a Jewish identity and lifestyle whilst facing removal to Siberia and other places with labour camps. It is a pleasure to bring you the enlightenment of that nation with the Moscow Jewish Male Voice Choir singing a song entitled 'An Evening of Roses', not religious, just pretty:

And to continue the religious theme that seems to have started here - one of my favourite 'sing along' songs is the final one from 'Sister Act'. It's just so 'feel-good'!

And what about the religion of Monty Python - and Life of Brian?

But I digress... what am I listening to at the moment? Having read an interesting interview with Ting Tings I have got hooked on their brand of pop with 'That's Not My Name':

So there are my offerings - seven songs to complete my tagging and at two of them will cheer me up rather than make me emotional. Now if there is a psychologist out there maybe he or she can interpret my inner self from the above? It would probably make interesting reading!

I now have to tag people - not sure how to do that - but I'm tagging David Weeks, Mark Lee, Kenny Campbell, John van der Put and Bruce Kalver!

IT'S GETTING NEARER!

2008-06-11T01:30:00.005+01:00

The time is marching on - and nothing seems to be finalised yet as regards to wedding arrangements apart from the venue, and the dress (no, I'm not revealing the colour here yet).

Even the shoes are playing up! When tried on in the shop, along with above mentioned attire, they fitted like gloves (or even shoes!) but now, in the comfort of home, they are so tight that the left one doesn't even fit onto my foot at all! What to do? What to do? The shop is near Weston Super Mare which is too far away to take them back - if they would accept them at all. And the shoes are such a perfect match for the dress it's almost a crime to return them...

The caterer is elusive when it comes to providing us with a tasting so we can find out exactly what we'll be serving our guests.

We have chosen four readings to accompany the ceremony but we haven't decided yet who will be performing them. We have chosen just the one piece of music - is the rest of the afternoon to take place in absolute silence?

Flowers present a huge problem too - what colour is going to go with the outfit? How neutral is neutral? How white is white, how ivory is ivory - you get the picture! Oh, pictures? Photos? Ah, no photographer arranged so have a friend who has offered so that is now settled and everyone else who owns a camera will no doubt be snapping memories too so look forward to seeing all of them after the event.

The video is one certainty and so, I believe, is the live streaming, courtesy of Octopus TV. My son will be able to watch the events as they happen as will all our friends across the world.

It's coming together I suppose albeit in bits and pieces.

Tomorrow I need to buy a padded coat hanger for the dress - such a stupid piece of equipment but one I've never owned. Then it's decision time on the balloons and flowers, hair accessories and favours; a trip to the local registrar to collect the certificates and then an appointment with whoever in Camden is going to officiate on the day.

And it's only five weeks till I go to Louisville, Kentucky, to the great magic convention. Everything must be ready by then as I'll return with just one week to go.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDY - NOT ME, THE OTHER ONE!

2008-05-10T00:01:00.005+01:00

OK - so I have a best friend who happens to have the same name as me - Mandy! Another member of The Magic Circle, Mandy lives in the West country and is an enthusiastic member of both Bath and Bristol's magic societies. Last weekend was the 48th Bristol Day of Magic held in Weston Super Mare and I travelled down to run a YMC workshop there and spend a day with Mandy before driving home - and then going back down the very next day for a surprise birthday party. Mandy was totally surprised - not least because she had made her own party on the Saturday night at the hotel in Weston where we were all staying.

Here are a few photos of Mandy's special black tie dinner, arranged in secret by her boyfriend Ged.

There were around 50 people there and it was great fun with magic from Fay Presto and a powerpoint presentation of Mandy's life to date with many many photos of her from a small baby onwards.

Mandy was quite shocked and almost didn't believe I travelled back home the night before, thinking that maybe I'd stayed in a hotel nearby. Really that would've been better as I missed the moment due to the person giving me a lift down to Bath arriving an hour late!

Oh well - got there in the end and had a super evening.

So Happy Birthday Mandy!

Group photo: Mandy F, Margaretta Hicks, Diva of Deception and Trixie Bond from Texas

I'VE BEEN TAGGED!

2008-04-24T23:30:00.005+01:00

Do you know about tagging? I've just been tagged and this is the result...

Firstly, though, I need to post the rules of tagging so you all know what the game actually is:

The rules are as follows:

1. Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Write down the first 4 sentences.
4. Invite 5 friends to do the same.

Here then are my five sentences taken from page 123 of Eight Cousins:

"Rose's sprain proved to be a serious one, owing to neglect and Dr Alec ordered her to lie on the sofa for a fortnight at least; wheareat she groaned dismally, but dared not openly complain lest the boys turn upon her with some of the wise little sermons on patience which she had delivered for their benefit.

It was Mac's turn now, and honorably did he repay his debt; for, as school was still forbidden, he had plenty of leisure, and devoted most of it to Rose. He took many steps for her, and even allowed her to teach him to knit, after assuring himself that many a brave Scotchman knew how to "click the pricks." She was obliged to take a solemn vow of secrecy, however, before he would consent; for, though he did not mind being called "Giglamps," "Granny" was more than his boyish soul could bear, and at the approach of any of the Clan his knitting vanished as if by magic, which frequent "chucking" out of sight did not improve the stripe he was doing for Rose's new afghan."

Yes it's a childish piece as it's from a children' book - albeit one first published in 1875. This will explain the strange sentence construction - the extensive punctuation with many semi-colons but few full stops. The writer may surprise you - it is, in fact, Louisa May Alcott whose works known to you probably don't go further than Little Women, Good Wives, Little Men and Jo's Boys. However she did write others, the most well known of these being 'Eight Cousins" and 'An Old-Fashioned Girl".

Louisa lived at Orchard House in Concorde, Mass. with her family and the most famous of her books was based on her own siblings. Her father founded a School of Philosophy in the grounds of their home and both it and the family home are now tourist attractions. No photos are allowed inside but the guided tour is very interesting, embracing as it does both the life and the times of this warmly considered writer and advocate of feminism.

BACK FROM THE US OF A

2008-04-19T00:29:00.005+01:00

It's a full week now - and I still feel times when I'm tired, sleeping till noon without a moment of wakefulness but full of delight at the wonderful time we had in New England.

We visited four states - Rhode Island, Connecticut, Massachusetts and New York State. Society of American Magicians' Pres. Elect Bruce drove us hundreds of miles and we met some splendid people such as Vinny Grosso whose garden is a go-kart track and whose house is actually on a creek; Eddie Gardner of Diamond Magic (now we know whose emails we delete with increasing regularity) and Peter Lantros who gave us a tour of his Patriot Missile factory (I kid you not!) and also housed us for two nights at his wonderful museum, the Magic Barn,where I surprised everyone by spending all of one night playing poker on one of Peter's marvellous arcade machines.
We ate masses of food, Bruce stopping over-regularly for meals to supplement the Dunkin' Donuts and coffee he seems to live on. And, in spite of the rain, we managed two history visits:

To Salem and the Witch Museum with its fascinating waxwork presentation (no animatronics here) and also to the preserved home of Louisa May Alcott who wrote Little Women and its sequels. Both of these were fantastic opportunities to learn about things we'd only vaguely acknowledged before.

Then there was the shopping! I felt like a millionaire as everything is so cheap whilst the pound is strong against the dollar. they decided I went to every Macys in every mall - but Bruce and I also descended on a couple of Disney stores which had great sales - Rob is now the proud owner of a shirt and a hoodie which sport Grumpy from the seven Dwarfs!

Thanks to all who were so very kind and helpful to us on our amazing trip... and it doesn't end there as I'm out to Kentucky in July. Now there's jetsetting for you!

Meanwhile - I'll be posting some more of the amazing things I photographed, particularly from Peter's collections.

SPRING CLEANING - OR WISHFUL THINKING?

2008-03-25T00:35:00.004Z

I expect you've spent your Easter break with other people or by going out and having fun. Not me... Rob and I are off, very soon, to New England, USA, so I've spent the weekend trying to get the house into some form of cleanliness and tidiness - something I find almost impossible.

My problem is: 1. I hate housework 2. I am a hoarder 3. If I put things away I lose them and can't find them when I need them 4. I hate housework 5. I like buying stuff!

For two days I sorted through loads and loads of videos. I put every single one into the machine and checked what was on it before deciding whether it needed to be kept to be watched again before throwing, kept to be transferred to DVD or whether it should be consigned to the box for disposal. Now that is done I wonder how long the box (well, two boxes now) will sit in the living room until it is taken to the tip?

Today I concentrated on the top floor of the house - bathroom and our bedroom. At least the carpets and skirting boards, walls and light fittings are now dust free but the piles of everything are another matter entirely.

I do love to see other people's immaculate houses. They have a minimum of items on display, practically no ornaments, photos, etc. No books or DVDs sprawled over coffee tables - just lots of tasteful space. Would I like a house like that? Well in theory I would but to do that all the bears would have to go at the very least because at present they occupy the tops of the sofas, the dining room chairs, the long john dressing table mirror, the bed, the top of the bedroom TV, the conservatory settee not forgetting the Cloth Tag pottery bears on the shelf over the radiator.

Then there are the books which are piled two deep and eight high on the two bookshelves I currently own as well as on the floor by the bed and in the drawers under the divan.

The office is an even bigger tip; everything is piled on the floor on both sides of my chair which I can only move forward and backwards in order to sit at my desk which can't be seen under the plethora of notebooks, diaries, magic props, stationary items - and yes there is a computer which even has some shy speakers which peer shortsightedly from between the miniature paper tote bags which are there to hold all the pens, pencils, paper clips and other hardware needed for today's paperless society!

Oh I'd love a clear and open workspace, I'd love my office equipment to gleam at me in the joy of being easily accessible but I doubt this will ever happen. I did start today, in the bedroom, trying to be a bit ruthless. To put it more accurately I filled a small plastic bag with three items of clothing I have now decided I can live without for the rest of my days. I also demoted a couple from a vast collection of lipsticks and some almost empty tubes of makeup base as well as several dried out mascara wands. But I think that's it; I won't be throwing anything else away today as that was hard enough to contend with for a while.

So I'll continue to keep everything, I'll continue to buy when I'm away and the things I buy will live happily in their plastic bags with airport logos and the names of strange sounding shops written on them until the next time I clean up and find them full of 'new' toys ready to be oohed and ahhed over before they return to their little bit of floor space mecca unscathed and still unused but forever new!

NEWS!

2008-03-15T00:36:00.005Z

Light Relief?

2008-03-11T12:01:00.005Z

I am awaiting the electrician.

He is due in an hour. He came yesterday at 11.30 to put up three light fittings, one in the kitchen (three spotlights on a base), one over the dining table (complete with fan) and one in the bathroom. He told us this would be a forty-five minute job......

The kitchen one was put up fairly quickly - but when the current was reconnected it didn't work.... six attempts later and it worked! Thank goodness for that.

The fan one took quite a while to put in place; well, it had two sets of wires, one to operate the bulbs and one for the fan itself. An hour passed and finally it was there - but not working... the electricity was switched off again, some more fiddling on high, switched on and nothing again and again and again and again. At last we had lift-off. Well not quite - because only three of the rotary arms fitted, the final two having such tightly attached screws that nothing could be done today without yet another screwdriver - which was left back home....

Just the bathroom one now - the easiest one of all I was told. Really? No.

The bathroom light was a pain because it is two flights up from the mains switch so all the fiddling was accompanied by electrician running downstairs to flick the switch, then running upstairs to find it didn't work so back down to put it off to carry on with the fiddling.

It works now - well sort of; if you want to go into the guest room you have to switch the bathroom light on first as the former won't work independently.

So I am awaiting the electrician.

He is due in an hour.

SUCH A LONG TIME!

2008-03-08T20:33:00.006Z

Gosh - I didn't realise! I haven't blogged at all this year! I can't believe it! From now on I'm going to try and blog once a week at least.

So much is happening this year too....

Already we've spent a couple of days in Nairn, just outside Inverness in Scotland.

Our friends Maggie and Robert, who used to live very nearby, have now moved up there and nagged us to visit - so we did. We had a great time.

The company was excellent and the food was amazing too;

We had a meal with them at Boath House which was very upmarket and different - some courses served on black granite tiles instead of plates.

A funny moment was a chance meeting with a seagull in Inverness - do they all dance like this?

At the end of last year and the beginning of this I won my first ever magic award. It was the Zodiac Magical Society Challenge Cup and works on challenging the holder to a category of the challenger's choice. I won it and then retained it - but lost it again last week; I wasn't sorry to do so as I had been happy to win it twice, to show it wasn't a fluke!

Now, at the end of this month, we are going to New England for Rob to do a lecture tour. We will only be away for ten days as Rob's brother Pete is getting married two days after we come home but it will be really great fun - it's all been arranged by Bruce Kalver, the incoming Society of American Magicians President whose lecture tour we arranged here in October last.

Then I'm back in the US in July - to attend the International Convention when Bruce will be inaugurated and I'll be going with fellow female magician Kerry Scorah so it's going to be fantastic fun! I'll try to keep a diary so I can blog when I get back.

Meanwhile - there's the Bristol Day of Magic in May with the other magician I'm in love with (Rob is No. 1 of course) coming over from Nashville. So there's plenty to write about soon.

CRANFORD - SUCH ABSOLUTE FUN!

2007-12-02T22:05:00.000Z

I vaguely remember trying to read Cranford, by Mrs. Gaskell, in my youth and not succeeding. Now I'm having a wonderful time wallowing in the weekly episodes on BBC1.

It is a superb production with some great actresses such as Judi Dench

Imelda Staunton,

and the amazing Julia McKenzie who I've adored for years, particularly reinforced by learning that she is a very close friend of another favourite lady, Maureen Lipman. I do hope they are still thriving together - we women can fail to uphold earlier friendships sometimes.

Three amazing women in a fascinating period piece (can't call it drama as nothing dramatic seems to happen!) Thank goodness we have the BBC doing this stuff - I know quality TV is under threat and even the BBC costume department has gone but surely they'll continue to do their best to churn out such absolute gems?

2007-11-27T15:39:00.000Z

I have just had the most wonderful weekend at the International Magic Convention. I spent time just talking to loads and loads of people and having fun. The only thing I saw was the Saturday night gala show and it was sad that Jade's act was marred by sound problems although I'm told she gave a great performance the following night:

but the highlight, for me, was Voronin.

Although I took photos I just love the one he has given me of himself and Svetlana - yes, they are both there:

I had a nice natter with Derren Brown who told me he is very busy indeed - he and Guy Hollingworth were happy to pose for me:

Another act I enjoyed was that of Francis Menotti whose thinking is so offbeat, using theatre to enhance his magic:

II also discovered Switzerland's secret - award-winning magician Roland Meister whose charm and humour were gaining him admirers even though he didn't perform at the convention this year:

Sadly the only photo I got was obliterated by the Pizza Express menu!

This year's close up competition was won by Satori from Japan but Francis got a merit award as did Troy von Scheibner, an ex-member and former star of YMC.

So what did YOU do over the weekend?

2007-11-19T15:17:00.000Z

Hadn't read Brian's blog since Amsterdam but now I've started again I found the link to finding out my daemon.

I knew before I even began it that I'd end up a monkey! And I did - well, a gibbon if we are to be precise. Now I need to know if you agree so do try and see what you think:

Are you all going to make a monkey out of me?

AMSTERDAM - REVISITED

2007-11-04T22:06:00.001Z

For Rob's 60th Birthday present we went back to Amsterdam with our good friends Brian and David. We left England...

and arrived in the land of bicycles...

We had leisurely breakfasts and visited somewhere different every day... sometimes travelling on canal boats:

Sometimes by tram:

We only had one day when it rained a little:

We spent an afternoon of fun and photos at Madame Tussauds...

We had a very new and arty bedroom...

And had some great meals with great company:

I was just so delighted when Rob told me 'This was the best Birthday present I've ever ever had!'

We can't wait to go back there - hopefully with the same good company too?

CIVIL OR UNCIVIL - THAT IS THE QUESTION

2007-10-07T13:09:00.000+01:00

Had a brilliant time on Thursday when our dear friends Brian and David undertook, and subsequently celebrated, a Civil Partnership. It was a perfect day and a perfect ceremony and party as only they could arrange. But it led to an interesting thought....

Talking to other gay couples that afternoon the question was whether or not to call it a marriage. For me that isn't the problem. My man is totally against 'getting married', sees it as a step towards doomsday - so why can't hetero couples have a civil partnership too? I know they can get married in a register office and that's called a civil ceremony - but they are still 'married' whereas a 'civil partnership', quite separate from a 'wedding' would imply that it was only done for legal reasons and that you'd stay together for love anyway. There would be no organised 'words' apart from the ones you chose and a registrar saying 'Are you eligible to do this? Does anyone object? Do you know what you are doing? Good - the go for it and sign here!'

And what would be resolved is: If anything happened to one of us the other is totally secure in being able to determine what would happen on medical grounds, on burial rights and on inheritance details without interference from relatives that have no communication with the living!'

I think that would be very fair indeed... don't you?

NEES KNOWS...

2007-09-25T23:44:00.000+01:00

A blog or so ago you met Nees - the bear that Brian and David brought back for me from Amsterdam?

Well here is Nees with the brilliantly funny and talented magician David Williamson at the junior workshop which took place during the Southport convention recently. Nees wasn't the only bear in the room either - another Mandy had her convention bear with her but I failed to get a photo of them all together.

Oh well - Nees prefers to be the only bear in the blog.

EVERY DAY'S A HOLIDAY.....

2007-09-01T00:15:00.000+01:00

.... but now and again it's fun to do what other people do on bank holidays - and go out somewhere you don't usually go.

We tried to go to the fair on Hamstead Heath but couldn't get parked so we headed into Covent Garden - and couldn't get parked there either. Being the intrepid travellers that we are (!) we went back to Euston, parked there, and got a train to Covent Garden - determined to enjoy some free entertainment on the streets.
I'd decided, because of the intended destination, not to take my camera with me so could only rely on the one built into my phone. So these aren't the best quality photos but they'll give you the essence of the fun to be had for nothing in the centre of London on a warm and sunny day:

The first act we came across turned out to be a magician friend of ours, Lee Hathaway, who also runs a magic stall there.

The next act was quite strange as this guy, a juggler, persuaded loads of children to lay on their backs head to feet with each other along three sides of a square (on a red carpet, no concrete messing their clothes and all very proper). He then did his act, every now and then returning to check that the kids hadn't moved, until he reached the end - whereupon he walked on his hands straddling the children who got up as he passed by in some sort of weird Mexican wave!

The final two guys we watched were very funny in both word and deed. They juggled balls, umbrellas and other assorted articles ending with this amazing unicycle spectre.

Then supper in Chinatown and home to bed!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

2007-08-13T12:50:00.000+01:00

It was my birthday on Saturday and I meant to blog then but in the end just didn't find the time or energy!

As you can see I have a new helper when it comes to writing my blog - courtesy of Brian and David. This bear comes from Amsterdam (noted by the windmills and dutch people printed all over him). His name is Nees (well, Hans was so obvious but when we go back we hope to add Boomsa to keep him company)! Nees is probably going to be a bit of a traveller so you may see him pop up all over the place.. anyway back to the birthday outing:

We had an unusual day out - on Thursday evening we learned about Dickens World in Kent, a theme park devoted to Charles Dickens. As a big fan it was the obvious place to go....

The real disappointment was the fact that it was all indoors; we were geared up for a fun filled day in the sun, sun hats and tanning creams at the ready.... instead we found ourselves in the bowels (actually it wasn't as we went upstairs) of the gloomy streets and alleyways of Victorian London with the odd wench in long skirt and apron wandering by.
At first glance there didn't seem to be a lot to do but, in fact, we filled three hours and didn't even have to resort to a visit to Fagin's Kitchen which housed an up to date ball pond and climbing frame, focussing on the under tens. It transpired that most of the attractions were hidden down the alleyways between the houses - well they would be wouldn't they?

First stop was the theatre, following a brief but extremely good snack in the upstairs bar/restaurant - a cut above the expected fast food outlet.
The show was exceptional and by far the best attraction featuring animatronics combined with human figures either appearing via Pepper's Ghost or in some form of film. The transformation of black and white drawings to first colour and then live characters was inspiring.

The Haunted House wasn't haunted at all! Instead it told an extremely brief version of Christmas Carol, showed Mr Nickleby hanging himself, a few odd characters such as Beadle and Mrs Corney, and a short story about a chair which magically transformed into a man.

The boat ride through the sewers needed more scenery, hopefully things to come.... There were lots of Dick van Dyke-esque voices to be heard but little to see before a short backward drop and a dousing which really didn't require the purchase of a waterproof cape for £2 on the way in!
A quick visit to a graveyard where very little happened and three characters shown momentarily and the ride was over... thankfully the whole place was not particularly busy and we hadn't had to queue for this. We could almost have done it again - but we didn't as we still had Dotheboys Hall and the film theatre to see.

The schoolroom was overseen by a human headmaster who brandished a cane in the air and admonished everyone who entered. There were old fashioned desks but that was it - these were inlaid with computer screens and a Dickens trivia game which took the form of snakes and ladders whiled away a good ten minutes!

The film however was 3D and very funny indeed. The effects were good and the humour probably passed the children by as they grasped the air in the hope of catching the pages or the rings that flew towards them and hovered over their heads.

Then it was out into the over bright and modern gift emporium, badly named the Old Curiosity Shop.

Well - it was fun being there but it could be so much more. More characters were needed to wander around such as the Beadle or Oliver asking passersby for more. More scenes were needed for the boat ride which just relies on the water drop for excitement and the haunted house could do with a Tale of Two Cities beheading at the very least!

The evening was spent wandering the streets of picturesque Canterbury
oohing and aahing over the scattering of real historical buildings among the more recent and sighing at the sight of narrow waterways besmirched with Pizza Express signs! Supper was taken at Weavers, one of the older establishments with decking along the river's edge and a canopy of leaves and flowers to provide a delightful setting for a birthday toast.

THE DAY THAT CHANGED ITS FACE

2007-07-27T14:51:00.000+01:00

Yesterday morning I woke up with a busy day ahead of me.

I was to perform at a hospital five minutes away from our home at 11 a.m. followed by a quick dash to another hospital for an afternoon show. Both had been rescheduled twice - there just don't seem to be many children with tonsils or broken limbs in July! In the evening we were going out for a meal with some good friends who we hadn't seen for a while.

The first change happened when I called the hospitals to make sure - and was cancelled yet again by the morning one 'we've only got two children and we had Andy yesterday anyway!' Oh well - I'm sure Andy is more than enough for one week!
Then, during a more leisurely morning than anticipated I took a call which cancelled the evening arrangements due to a daughter-in-law's family bereavement which warranted some babysitting duties for our friends.

The afternoon show went well and I had a good time apart from being almost reduced to tears - not by a child but by his mother who had him howling despairingly as she screamed at him constantly about how he deserved all the pain his broken limb was causing him and how she was going to walk out of the ward, birthday or no birthday, and never come back to him again. She even wrote his card out in front of him and handed it over without the envelope although he was too terrified by her threats to react to the written word.

Then, halfway home I got a call: 'I know it's a bit short notice...' oh well, I thought, I've nothing booked in on the afternoons this weekend so I'll be free. 'I know it's short notice but my daughter's having a party this afternoon - are you free to entertain eight year olds at 5.30???' And I was!

I dashed home, packed an appropriate show, printed off the publicity inserts for the prize bags - and off I went. Luckily it was all dovetailing beautifully - the destination was half a mile down the road from my house! Show went well, got home quite tired - and found out Rob had booked tickets for Harry Potter.

So two hospital shows and a dinner turned into one hospita showl, one birthday party (with cash payment!) and a movie -
and what a movie!

Cousin Barbara had seen the film out in Bermuda but hadn't enjoyed it at all, feeling that there was no story to it! Rob hadn't read the book either and absolutely loved it - and I really really loved it, particularly seeing scenes that had previously only been visualised in my head coming to life on front of me.

Now that's magic!

TODAY WAS FOR YOU DAD!

2007-07-21T18:40:00.000+01:00

My Dad was a wonderful man - everyone who knew him loved him. He had a huge love of magic and he and I used to watch all the programmes from David Nixon to Paul Daniels - but Dad's favourite magician was always Ali Bongo. Sadly my dad died two months before I met Rob - and subsequently Fay Presto who taught me to be a magician.

Almost fifteen years later I dedicate this day to my dad:

Today I was in a bookshop for the launch of the final Harry Potter; I ran two workshops together with Ali Bongo.
We taught magic to almost sixty children and had a great time.

Then, when I arrived home, I found a huge bouquet of flowers from - Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee to thank me for a small something I'd arranged for them last weekend.

My Dad would've been so proud... today I really really miss him.

BRIAN'S BIRTHDAY AND YOUNG MAGICIAN OF THE YEAR

2007-07-19T02:19:00.000+01:00

Sunday's event was the Young Magician of the Year finals and Ben Farrar (or Ben Hart as he is now known) was a deserved winner - couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

It was also great fun celebrating Brian's Birthday the day after it happened. A good crowd of us celebrated with supper and cake after the highly enjoyable competition finals. Brian puffed away at the candles

before heading home to rest up before a few hopefully fun-filled days in Amsterdam - can't wait to compare notes on our trip there!

OUTRAGED OF BOREHAMWOOD

2007-07-10T15:25:00.000+01:00

It's fascinating to discover the apathy in one's household that one didn't know existed.

Everyone was obviously distraught by the news - but it was only a small number of concerned individuals who were so horrified that they were determined to act. You'd expect that no one would shirk their duty but just a handful were moved enough by the news on Brian's Blog that someone, I can't even voice his name, SOMEONE was so cruel, so vicious that he had unpicked young innocents and TURNED THEM INSIDE OUT TO STUFF AGAIN!

This was a heinous crime against bearanity but once again it was left to the minority, a superior group by all accounts but nevertheless a minority, to form a picket line and protest in the name of Bearnesty International:

Principle protestors (l to r) Whimsy, Pooh the Superior, Albert

Long live those that will stand up and be counted (but beyond three is rather difficult until we get taught more...)

AMSTERDAM - FIVE DAYS OF DELIGHT

2007-06-02T12:51:00.000+01:00

It was just like coming home - to a place you've never been but you know so well when you get there. We arrived at 2.30 in the afternoon not knowning where we were located as such - well we'd done a bit of a recce on t'internet but you can never be sure. It was only as the days went by that we discovered we were in exactly the place we wanted to be - thirty seconds from the flower market on the edge of a canal, two minutes from Rembrandt Square, the trams and our favourite cafe; ten minutes from Reinsplein and the Covent Garden atmosphere. Down the road two minutes from the canal bus. And even walking distance (our walking distance, not normal people's) from Dam Square which was a minute from the Red Light District.

The hotel was a boutique hotel if I knew what one was - very modern with a wet room rather than a bathroom and stylish but a little basic for me as there were no tea/coffee faciilities. By chance we hadn't booked breakfast and that turned out to be a godsend - Amsterdam doesn't wake up before eleven and so we weren't walking the streets tired as hell by 9.30 with nothing to do. It's very much a night place which is us to a 'T'.

After unpacking we walked to Rembrandt Square and discovered, with guide book help, Cafe de Kroon an upstairs place with a glass walled area overlooking the larger than life statues which make up The Night Watchman with Rembrandt himself on a plinth surveying the scene. The decor was in the style of a Viennese cafe with period furniture, faded elegance. We drank tea, many kinds of teabags and a pot with a cosy, and ate 'mixed nuts' which relied heavily on our favourite rice crackers. Then we walked to Dam square through the fashion shops and sat to gaze at the royal palace and Madame Tussauds. We asked directions to the red light district or Reinsplein but confusion got us on the wrong tram. When we were told by the driver, we got off - only to find we had arrived at the latter whilst thinking we were heading to the former! Geography was never a strong point for either of us. We spent the evening dining at Boom Chicago who put on a splendid improv show - as we'd seen so many times in Edinburgh. They are always worth the money, always different and the audience participation is fun and secure from the safety of one's own seat. Supper was beautifully cooked rib eye steak piled high with caramelised onions and tomatoes. We walked back to the hotel on a rather stange route but we did get there!

Tuesday was dull and rainy in places so we walked slowly to Waterloo market (like Portobello under the Westway) and drank home made soup outside a specialist shop. The spent the afternoon at the Jewish Museum which was absolutely fascinating to both of us in different ways - very interactive, lots to see and experience. We had lunch there, falafel and houmus, then walked all the way back to the hotel! So much walking - not us at all.... on the way we booked 'love seats' at the Tuchinski Movie theatre - a wonderful art deco building. A short rest, then drinks and mixed nuts at De Kroon before taking our places on our love seat - a two seater setee in a private box holding four such chairs. Price included wine and nibbles too - but we needed them to get through three hours of Pirates of the Caribbean 3! Yet we could still get dinner at midnight - try that in London. Rob had proper home-made lasagne and I settled for a tuna nicoise!

Wednesday, as scheduled, was hot. We went two minutes in the opposite direction to the first canal and the water bus. This took us only as far as Central Station, another architectural vision. I had a proper Dutch breakfast - two slices of bread, ham, hard boiled egg (I passed on the cheese) then we got another boat to the Artis Zoo where we spent the afternoon enjoying the feeding times (of the animals on this occasion) and I managed to take some superb wild life photos.
We got a tram back to the hotel. We had a six-thirty lunch literally around the corner - wonderful tapas of garlic mushrooms and bread covered in pureed tomatoes and more garlic. Then we actually took a siesta before venturing on a tram to take in the infamous RLD. We walked, with the crowds to glance at the windows at the pasty, skinny, bored females on their mobile phones or smoking and chatting to each other. Occasionally we'd see negotiatons taking place before the window (or rather glass door) was opened, swiftly closed and the curtain drawn across. It didn't seem at all furtive or alluring but then it all took place in brilliant blue skies as the sun didn't set till ten o'clock. We sat by a bridge, with a drink or two, watching the world go by. At ten we went and stood at the famous Casa Rosso Theatre and made sure there were others going to see the sex show before we joined them! it was - a sex show. We made the mistake of sitting on aisle seats at a non-stop show - so were constantly bothered by people comiing and going, by drinks being passed up and down, by people wandering the aisles and blocking our views.... eventually we learned to move up into the corner seats so we'd be undisturbed! None of it was sexy - just a sex show although we were both quite fascinated by one performer who smoked a cigar.....

We ate around midnight in a Chinese restaurant full of Chinese before tring to get a cab back - but no one would take us as they decreed it was only 'up the road'. Well it was - but a good fifteen minutes or more so we walked it as we had no choice.

Thursday was rainy and dull but we'd scheduled Van Gogh for the day. After a tram ride to Dam Square (no walking this time) we had a Dutch mezze style breakfast at the Nieue Church Cafe before continuing our journey. Unfortunately we relied on someone else dinging the bell so the tram didn't stop where we wanted it to and we had a good look at the residential areas before getting back to the museum. Van Gogh was OK - not a lot to say really, he painted what he saw and that was it... we did the kids' quiz which gave us more interest in the exhibits, looking for jigsaw pieces of paintings, trying to recognise these small fragments from the larger pictures. However there was a second exhibition which was startling, fascinating and thoroughly enjoyable - as well as being much much bigger than Van Gogh who didn't seem to have done a lot by comparison.

Max Beckman was a famous German artist in the thirties whose work was among that termed 'degenerate' by the Nazis. He therefore moved to Amsterdam, intending to end up in Paris, but the war kept him in Holland for ten years. He was extremely prolific and much can be read into his works. Some of his tryptiches were fascinating in their interpretations of the world in which he lived.

We stayed there till it closed at six then caught the tram just one stop to Reinsplein (Reins Square) where we sate and had drinks and listened to the accordion players who entertained the masses of people sitting all around. We ventured to the Hard Rock Cafe shop which we found situated in a lovely modern square right by a canal (isn't everything) and then wandered the streets around looking at restaurants and finding all the ones recommended in the guide books. Eventually decided to go Greek but the choice was amazing and even this particular place also covered Spain too! We opted for Kleftico but were somewhat daunted by the amount of cheese in everything; now I hate the stuff but even Rob, who loves it, found it far too much! There was feta on the salad, the meat was cooked in it and even the chips were heavily sprinkled with parmesan! We sat out there on the street for hours, even during a short rainy patch, and watched the people and laughed and laughed - you had to be there. Then we went just around the corner to a tiny, but air-conditioned, jazz cafe where we had a brilliant time listening to a live jazz quintet, sitting among friendly people of all ages. We walked home around 1.30 and the streets were still busy and fun.

Our last day - luckily we had an evening flight so we checked out and sat on a canal by a busy shopping street. I went wandering among the shops for an hour or so before rejoining Rob who'd been basking with beer on the hottest day of our trip. We breakfasted at lunch time on Gazpacho soup (for me) and scrambled eggs and smoked salmon (for him) before a last visit to Rembrandt Square and Cafe de Kroon to promise that we'd be back very soon indeed....

THE LETTER GAME - TEN LIKES AND DISLIKES BEGINNING WITH 'C'

2007-03-24T00:06:00.000Z

Two posts in 24 hours - unheard of!

But Brian has sent me the letter C so that I can join in his latest game: I have to list ten likes and dislikes.

Likes:

CHOCOLATE!! Dark chocolate and Cadburys' too.... Green and Blacks, Bournville, Fruit and Nut - oh and Easter Eggs, hollow ones. Elena handmade Belgian chocolates - the ones with the fresh whipped cream in the middle or the orange peel dipped in lush bitter chocolate. Buttons, excuse me taking Brian's friend in vain (but that's where Buttons got his name!) - I love buttons; and Rolos; and Flakes and...

don't like white chocolate though...

OK - enough now, got it?

CASUALTY!
The programme of course - the name of which makes my friends in the US just fall about laughing... but I've been hooked since episode one and it's the only thing i go out of my way to record and watch avidly. I've never got into Holby City or Scrubs or any of the other hospital based stories, just Casualty and I don't really know why. I tried E.R. for the first three series but lost interest, yet I've stuck with my favourite through floods, bombs, fires and that was just the building. There have obviously been all manner of accidents coming through their doors and I can never cease to admire the way the doctors and nurses get so involved in the patients' lives - finding lost relatives, mending broken hearts - something I really don't believe happens in real life. But ever since I was hooked on the Sue Barton Nursing books as a small child this kind of thing thrills me - as long as I don't have to watch the gory bits and everything ends happily.

COMPUTERS Yes, I know I'm always moaning as iPhoto gets jammed yet again. And I still can't put a heading on this before I start blogging as it freezes my browser and I have to start again. Yet I love my computer and the way it has opened up the world, bringing friends from overseas into my home on a virtual basis. It means I can skype my closest mates who have moved to Bermuda and Spain, catch up with cousins in Canada (yes that's a C word too) and make new friends on the magic lists who I can talk to and swap files of music and film with. Most of all I love the fact I can write stuff and it's there without me having to search desperately only to find I can't read back what I've written in my dreadful scrawl. Knowledge, shopping, wriitng and friendship - these are a few of my favourite computer things!

COCO POPS This is my preferred cereal and I start every day with 30 gms of these. I measure them out ever since I discovered that this amount was the same as having slightly more of a more sensible cereal. It means I can have my favourite and still feel good about having an amount that fits the weightwatchers diet - not that I'm losing weight on it, maybe because this is the only thing I weigh!

Maybe this list is turning into things people don't know about me!

CLOTHES I love clothes, not washing and ironing them obviously but the buying of them and the wearing of them and the sheer owning of them. I can't afford expensive ones but that doesn't matter; sometimes it's more fun to find a bargain. I was brought up with loads of clothes, my dad was a designer and had his own factory and then had a market stall. His mum, my grandma, made me new dresses every week and my mother's dad, a tailor, made me coats and tailored suits from a very young age. So I had new stuff all the time. I rarely bought anything as a teenager, mostly boots and shoes and undies, the odd jumper too. My dad used to go to buy stock for the stall and mum and I would deplete it thoroughly on a Friday night when he came home with the new styles. I am not one for wearing classic expensive items over and over again; I need new things all the time and no matter if they are only fit for one season - just bring on the next! The only time I own better stuff is when I go to look at the new arrivals and earmark something to watch when the sales arrive; if it's still there, at a greatly reduced price, then I can buy it knowing I have a bargain. That's the way to do it!

Dislikes:

CHEESE - Yes, I know I'm strange but I hate the taste of it in any form or flavour or breed. I hate cheese with a vengeance!

COFFEE - I really hate coffee and anything flavoured with it! As a child I used to have a cup of coffee on every Birthday in the hope that being a year older would mean that I'd acquired the stature for this adult drink of choice - but I never did!

CATS - cant' help it. I'm a dog lover but cats? How can you love a creature that jumps on your lap and then digs spikes into your legs to keep its balance? I find that anti-social indeed. My best friend got a kitten, which I think I'm going to meet on Sunday, and telephone conversations went like this:

"Hi it's me! How are you? Ow, ow, ow,ow!'
Is that animal hurting you?' 'No, he's really sweet and so tiny - ow, ow, ow, ow!'
'Is he digging his claws into you?' 'They aren't real claws he's only a baby - ow, ow, ow, ow!'

I rest my case!

CREEPIE-CRAWLIES - All of them. I have a fear of spiders and worms and a revulsion for anythiing that crawls on the ground. I'm tolerant of flying things such as wasps, daddy-long-legs (which I can pick up and 'save' others from), moths but if it doesn't have wings it has no business being within two miles of me. I can hold snakes though, they don't bother me at all.

CHEATS - I dislike people who cheat in any form. I dislike hearing about those cowboy builders and plumbers who do old people out of money. I dislike people who get past me in a queue or get served first in a restaurant if I've been there a while before they arrived. I dislike people who get awards which are unjustified, leaving behind others who should've been honoured years ago (you know who you are!)

Well there are five likes and five dislikes starting with the letter C - I'm not sure if ten likes and dislikes meant that or ten of each but I'm publishing these so far and if Brian says it has to be five more of each then watch out for The Sequel...

WHERE HAVE ALL THE READERS GONE?

2007-03-23T17:20:00.000Z

Mustn't start with a title, mustn't start with a title, mustn't....

Oh hi! It's such a pain; don't know if any of you suffer from this? Since being coerced into the new all singing all dancing form of google blogger or whatever it's become, every time I try to blog - and I start by putting a title in the appropriate box - the program freezes and I can't go any further so I have to log out and start again! So annoying.... anyway back to the plot....

I was reading the Guardian review pages today and I was fascinated - all these books which sound interesting in the short pieces describing them but in reality are probably very very boring indeed. So boring, in fact, that the paper also has to publish a separate list entitled 'top ten mass market books'. In other words, I'm not totally stupid - I'm just reading what the mass market reads and enjoying the tasters of more highbrow reads by studying the Guardian critics instead.

For instance - one wrote about ships logbooks and the details he gave were fascinating - but there is no way I'd want to trawl the spidery writing on the originals. Another book dealt with the Windrush immigrants and their treatment here in the 50s - another subject that does interest me but not in the heavy language most likely used in the discussed volume.

So I read Marian Keyes and Cathy Kelly - so what? I like them, I like to curl up with a book last thing at night, whether bedtime is midnight or 3 a.m, and unwind with simple plots and easy to understand words. I like Dickens too, and Shakespear and Austen and... - but that's not the point. Reading from the top ten of the 'mass market' doesn't make me an unintelligent person - or does it?

And another thing - Round Robin Readers!

You've never heard of them? Oh yes you have....

I thought it was a super idea - I got a letter in the post with just two names attached to it. The premise was this:

You send ONE book to the first name on the list, take them off the list and the second person becomes the top one. Then you add your name and photocopy the letter (on a separate sheet so it was easy to do) and send it to six of your friends who read. They then send one book to the person on the top and leave them off and add their own name and you were now top of the list - and you'd receive 36 books! Brilliant! Either you'd get stuff you'd never tried but might do so if it landed on your doorstep - or the local charity shop would do well... or Ebay!

So what happened? I sent out six copies to six friends I know read books:

1. Got a call saying this person wasn't prepared to send out 36 books! When I patiently explained it would only be one, they were miffed and still didn't want to play as they only like the books they choose.

2.Person no. 2 told me that they didn't believe they had any friends that read!

3. Person no. 3 called me and said: "I'm gonna kill you! Why did you send me this? I'm not doing it!' No reason, nothing...

4. Person no. 4 emailed to say mother was in hospital, sister just come out, other sister on way from abroad; hadn't had time to read my letter.... didn't expect to!

5 and 6 are ominously quiet....

and nothing has arrived here. :(

But don't you think it was a brilliant idea? `Or is it just me?

BRIAN'S BLOG-TAGGED ME!

2007-03-14T16:05:00.000Z

It's all Brian Sibley's fault! He tagged me! Basically he 'tagged' several bloggers and we have to come up with five things that people don't know about us.

I have two problems with this:

First of all it's taken me several days to get blogger to let me in - I inadvertently changed to the new system and now, although it recognises all my passwords (two sets now), it doesn't let me actually type in the new post box. I can put in the title but then it won't let me into the dialogue area and freezes the browser! Well - I think I've fooled it now! I didn't put a title - but it could be that when I get to the end of this it won't publish it and all will be in vain. I shouldn't even be doing this as I've a magazine to produce by the end of the week and a new designer/printer to find by next month...

My other problem with being tagged? Well, Brian and his partner David are very good friends and I can't think of anything they doesn't know about me. Maybe that's something that people don't know about me:

THINGS PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME (1)

I don't hide anything - I can't! However I'm feeling at any time shows on my face and I share everything that happens in my life so there are NO SECRETS!

So this makes it all very difficult to find five things; I bet the rest of you have no trouble. I've thought and thought. Maybe I could list... no, Brian and David know that already. Maybe... no, they know that too.

So my list now reads:

THINGS OTHER PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME APART FROM BRIAN & DAVID - OH AND ROB, MY FIANCE (nos. 2 - 5):

2. I have a grown up son who lives in Arizona with a wife who is 3 weeks older than I am!

3. I used to drive a Volvo with a trailer on the back like a small caravan; it was my dad's and was hanging space for the dresses he sold in St. Albans market. I tell you this who have seen me park!!

4. I got the writing bug when I won a poetry competition in Princess comic. It got me £10/- (50p - there's age for you!) and it was reprinted in the local paper and the Jewish Chronicle - I was considered a writer of great humour!

5. My great uncle was a news editor for ITN and I visited their offices when they were in Kingsway and I met all the great newsreaders of their day, probably the first batch who had become household names.

Now I've written all of those boring things I can go and look at everyone else's as they'll be very interesting and make me want to change mine. Visit Brian's blog for the link to the others - i'm sure he'll post the link to his own on here so you can all go and enjoy.

PS - I've just wasted almost an hour trying to add photos to this blog and it won't let me!!!!

PPS - And now I have to blog-tag five people and I don't know how to do this. I don't even know five bloggers! I would like to tag John van der Put, Richard Pinner, Rob Cox.... but I guess they've already been tagged? If not - guys there are only three of you but you are 'it' now!

TOP OF THE RANGE!

2007-02-03T01:25:00.000Z

In 1980, years after my friends and acquaintances, I learned to drive. I passed my test and started to wish for a car to drive. My then husband had just bought himself a low slung sports model so he phoned the garage where it had come from and had a probably conversation like this: 'Do you have any old thing for my wife to drive - she's just passed her test?' 'Certainly sir, got a 1300 just come in' 'OK - bring it round and we'll have it!' It was when I decided to clean it for the first time that I discovered the second set of pedals on the passenger side - the thing was an ex-driving school vehicle and consequently only lasted for ten months before it died completely. This was the shape of things to come - a rusty, past their sell-by shape of make-do motors meandering through my life.

The next car was an Avenger, a runaround kept for transporting materials by the builders who were knocking down walls and installing heating into our new house. It was a real rust bucket but I ran that until it caught fire one day as I was driving down the A41!
The third one was an old Cortina used as a cab by the boy who lived across the road. I was actually able to sell that one on for £250 because they didn't notice the oil pouring out from the bottom!

Then I borrowed a little money, just over a thousand pounds, and bought a bargain - a Suzuki Alto which was the tiniest car on the road at the time.
It was smaller than a micra, maybe a four door smart car in size but I loved it until I became a market trader and filled it to capacity (which wasn't much) with nuts and dried fruits.

So it was the dawn of the Sierra Estate - loads of room to branch out into herbal tea bags until that, too, became full to capacity and the police would stop me at regular intervals to find out how I could possibly see out of the windows (well there was nothing in front of me and I was only driving forwards!) Then for four glorious years I sat up high in a Bedford Midi Van
until I retired from markets to become a full time magician and didn't need the space any more.

My next car was a mistake - from up high to small and compact in a Metro which lasted six months before it was written off by an elderly man in a hat and I lost the will to drive for six months.

It was then that I discovered the world of the Proton. What? Exactly - you've never, or barely heard of it. The Proton was made in South Korea and in the early nineties was made with a Mitzubishi engine. No one knew of them, they weren't fashionable and they still aren't - so they are very reliable and very reasonable to buy.

The first one, in '97 was £2,200 and lasted me for six years with no problems at all but was written off by a hit and run merchant. The second one, at £800, was bought in a panic of having no car at all and lasted me three years and is still going strong but was just now starting to cost me money. So I began an intermittent trawl through google to see what was around in the Proton second hand market.

And two weeks ago I found what I hope is a real gem! It was tucked away in Exchange & Mart on line and hid among the sporty, but according to the reviews unlovely, Satrias and the Compact hatchbacks. It was a 2002 Impian with only 25000 miles on the clock - and it was being sold in a garage for £2695! I thought there must be something wrong with it as others of the same age and with more miles were selling for at least a grand, if not two, more. I waited a week - but it was still there, not snapped up at all but neither were any of the others. It was also the only one in the South East of England as most Proton garages seem to be in Lancashire, Manchester or Yorkshire.

I called the garage and verified the mileage and price, then drove over on Sunday to have a look. It was sitting at the back of the forecourt kind of waiting...

On Wednesday the RAC went to check it over and came back with the news that it 'needed a good hoovering inside' (is that all?) and that the air vents weren't directional.... so I bought it. I'd also asked how much for part exchange and they'd offered £400 which was a fortune for a twelve year old with serious signs of aging.

And now it's here - outside on the drive waiting for me to love it and I will and I do. I'm just not yet convinced that I've a bargain here. Once my mechanic services on Monday and can tell me that the RAC man was right and there is nothing major wrong and the irritating things I've found have been put right (the directional vents referred to turned out to be the fact that I can't demist the windscreen and the cigar lighter doesn't work so I can't charge the sat nav or phone) - once I know all these things are going to be fine then I'll love it and love it and love it.

Not least because I've also discovered it's not any Proton but a top of the range Proton which they are still making! I've never owned a car which was still in production before - and it has electric everything. So watch out - I've joined the ranks of the modern motor and I'm goiing to be the happiest bunny there ever could be!

THE BRICK WALL

2007-01-11T22:59:00.000Z

Tomorrow Rob is going into hospital for doctors to repeat a very uncomfortable procedure which he had already undertaken back in July. He is having an ablation - thin wires are passed through his groin into his heart to clear away, via progressively stronger electric shocks, any gunk that has accumulated in his arteries or veins (I forget which).

Rob has barely mentioned this; he just gets on with things as do I - but for me this is one of those Brick Walls in life. You must know of them. There are certain events which loom large and, however you try, you can't see through them or over them to the time beyond. You have to live through them, these solid Brick Walls, until they are done and the rest of time can continue uninterrupted. We've all lived through brick walls but there is nothing one can do to overcome them except the obvious.

When I was pregnant with my son - that was a dreadful Brick Wall. Everyone talked of the pain of childbirth and how 'once they put the baby in your arms you'll forget all the rest'. Yes, but that was the Brick Wall, the thing I had to live through, the actuality of producing this child, and I dreaded it. In the end I had a Caesarean - oh the bliss of being put to sleep and waking up to find I had a son! No labour pains, no undignified and unmentionable events, just the job done whilst I wasn't there and then left to doze through the next few days in a state of morphia induced wonderland!

Going to have dental treatment - that's another of my Brick Walls. Or any form of medical mayhem whilst I'm not completely unconscious.

Even driving long distances to and from gigs - they can be Brick Walls of a kind. Or performing new material in front of an audience at The Magic Circle, a foam brick wall but I still can't see over or through it till the job is done....

On Saturday there is a YMC workshop. It is our annual auction and I'm sitting at my computer, supposedly completing all the lists of lots and printing them off for use on the day. I can't get the work done - the seems too remote with the Brick
Wall in front of me. I need to put all the registered members' names into my notebook and make up the sticky labels that they wear in the hope that, at some time, I will remember who they are. I can't even think about doing this tomorrow night, I can't even see twenty four hours ahead! I don't know if Rob will come home tomorrow or the next day - I can't think about anything else.

He tells me he is calm - I doubt it. At the moment he is sitting in front of Question Time unseeingly as his heart is racing and fluttering - the very condition that should have been cleared in July when they first performed the ablation! Over 99% of these procedures are successful - have you met Mr One per Cent??? Well he's in the other room facing his own Brick Wall and assuring me he can see over it without any doubt. Well, he's a 'Real Man' as my mother said when she first met him!

But I can't think beyond presenting him at St. Mary's at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning - the Brick Wall is there and it won't go away.

AN EMAIL LOG OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

2006-12-10T00:03:00.000Z

TUESDAY 5th:

10.28 - Bruce emails to offer a job on Saturday evening 9th December. I answer it saying that I'm available.

11.24 - Bruce comes back to me, tells me to pencil his job in for now and he'd get back.
12.08 - Tim emails to forward one he'd received regarding a job on Saturday evening 9th December; his indicates he has put my name forward for this.

17.37 - The guy emails regarding Tim's job - asks if I'm available and what I'd charge. I reply immediately, as usual, explaining what i do and that I'm on hold at the moment and would have to let him know if I am free or not.

I also email Bruce and tell him to let me know asap as I can't hold the job for long; I give him till the morning to let me know.

20.59 - Bruce emails to say 'The client has told me that it is definite but am waiting for info to process the contract.'
I reply saying I look forward to receiving paperwor and I email the other job to say 'sorry, can't do it'.

WEDNESDAY 6th:

Bruce calls in the afternoon; he tells me that he is going away to London from his home the next day so won't be around to coordinate the job so has asked the other agency (!) to deal with me directly. He gives me the name and phone number of the contact there and tells me to call them if I don't hear. They will be emailing me.

THURSDAY 7th

I am out but Rob receives a call from 'the other agency' giving him all the details of the job, time, venue etc plus contacts at the venue, the agency and even the client who is Gillette.

FRIDAY 8th:

At 16.30 I receive a call from the girl at the agency to say the job has been cancelled! She is indignant about it but asks me if I belong to a union or similar as I should get them to fight it. She believes that there is a case to answer but she denies that it's her job as an agency to do this. I can't say too much as I have to leave home immediately to get to a booking.

Late that night I download the terms and conditions from that agency and they are quite clear that if clients cancel they will have to pay the fees.

SATURDAY 9th:

I call another magician who was also booked on this job; he's been cancelled to but has a contract. It appears I also received one that morning in the post - it states that the client is Mapledurham House.

I call Bruce who more or less intimates that it's up to me to deal with the agency as he had bowed out but I point out his name is on the contract and he is not amused.

I call the venue number and speak to Hayley who tells me the contract is all wrong anyway as it's not MapleDurham House but MapleDurham Events. The client, Gillette, have drawn back on their original agreement to spend £3000 and have now only put £500 behind the bar and cancelled the entertainment. She claims to have called the agency to cancel at midday the day before. She also says that the contact for the client is a call centre in India. She also tells me to use Equity to fight the case but doesn't seem to think I will get money from her, just from Gilette.

And there you are - I am going to go to Equity on Monday morning - this whole thing is a farce and I lost a job I could've taken if I'd been less honorable. I should've taken the second job that came in and not waited to see whether this lot wanted me or not.

What a bummer!

FOLLOWING BRIAN'S LEAD...

2006-12-03T18:12:00.002Z

I enjoyed reading my friend Brian's list of favourite foods and wondered what would happen if I decided to do the same thing...

Well I know that Salt Beef and Latkas (or for the American market Corned Beef and potato pancakes) would be on there as would New Green or Polish Pickled Cucumbers. I guess a lot of my favourite flavours come from my Jewish background, memories of childhood - I love my grandmother's chicken soup and my aunt's chopped liver. I make both of those but I've discovered that no one's soup or liver taste the same even though we all use the same recipe, particularly when it's one handed down in a family.

One food memory reminds me of maybe '96 or '97 when Rob and I went to Cornwall and stayed in a modern four poster bed in a country house hotel in Cornwall. Neither of us can remember where exactly but it only had three or four couples staying and we were warned not to tell the others what we were paying as we'd found a special offer! The abiding memory is of the food cooked by the lady of the house, no choice of meal just - 'This is what we are having tonight, will you join us or not?' She made something I've never tasted the likes of before or since - Cointreau and Marmalade icecream made with cornish clotted icecream, it was heaven.

On the subject of icecream although chocolate is the preferred flavour, the best of these is Rocky Road from Dayville's or Baskin Robbins shops as it's full of marshmallows and whole almonds.

A late-in-life liking for olives means that my mouth waters at the thought of those stuffed with garlic cloves and - while we are on the subject of garlic - I must not forget my favourite pre-starter at our special restaurant in Cookham. We love their mixed breads and oil served with a whole large (not so large last time) garlic roasted in the oven so that you just plucked a clove and it popped all squelchy and flavoursome from it's papery covering to melt onto the bread and into one's mouth.

How can one write this without feeling ravenous? Even a guilty pleasure would do now - but McVitie's Plain Chocolate Digestives are only bought when guests are coming so I must invite someone for tea quickly.

I think that's ten - if you count the first two separate items but if it's a combined meal taste then I've room for one more, but only one sadly.

Which shall I choose? It could be Brian's choosing of Toast and Marmalade or his other one of Salted Popcorn (a vital ingredient to any movie-going) but i think it has to be a good Chinese feast of salt baked wings and duck with pancakes.

I think I've gone overboard here.....

OFF THE TREADMILL....

2006-12-01T01:30:00.000Z

At last I've found the time and the inclination to come off that treadmill and write here for my own sanity.

Life is a little calmer befoe the storm with a slightly changed and dimished (literally) YMC team. J-Day was a wonderful achievement and the whole thing went extremely well apart from a young upstart who planned, unknown to me, to perform for half an hour instead of the required fifteen minutes and threw all the timing out so that parents were ready to storm the auditorium in order to retrieve their offspring to get to stations on time for trains home! Luckily I was able to stem this tide and all ended relatively calmly although said upstart barely acknowledges me as he knows full well what an absolute rotter he was that day! That apart, all the planning and organising left for me to do went very well and the team followed their directions and were admirable on the day itself. We even made a satisfactory profit too!

J-Day was the day I 'launched' my new look and it seems to be approved - lots of people saying they like it anyway. Mandy F was told by one guy that he and his friends loved it but they were too shy to tell me! So that's nice - unsolicited praise is always good.

As soon as that was over the magazine had to be put together and that was done in good time - only to find that the printer made a huge mistake and had to redo the cover, causing everything to run later than planned. Oh well, the December issue will be out in December and not November - the first issue to come in a week after the usual end of previous month deadline...

Just had a wonderful weekend with a very satisfactory workshop day followed by an excellent concert with Max Somerset wowing the kids - I even got to perform some close up myself. Then to the International Weekend hotel to hang out with old friends. Sunday brought an unexpected kids' show for the family from hell (kids great but parents no help, not there and all facilities non-existent such as parking and help to get equipment to basement). Then hour and a quarter to get from Fulham to Kings Cross for the gala show which was wonderful. Tony Chapek is a real dish and his act is so very different with interactive TV screen and lots of magical moments too.

Then hanging out with everyone, handing out magazine copies and getting photos of 'stars' in return - from Tony to Mike Caveney and Tina Lennert, Lex and Alina (quick change act), and David Regal who spend two or three hours sitting at a table with Angelo, Ian Rowland, Mandy and me
while Max Somerset ran here and there being silly. John Archer joined us too - we had such a huge laugh till 5 a.m! Magic people are so warm and welcoming if you treat them right.

Tomorrow is 1st December and the start of the Christmas bookings. They add up OK although still room for improvement as not reached last year's target. Hopefully some last minute stuff will come in and fill the gaps.

Hope to blog more regularly now.....

2006-09-04T10:50:00.000+01:00

it's been a long time since I came here t write my thoughts.

I have reached a point where everything is just too much and I can't put finger to keyboard (the modern version of pen to paper) as there are no longer any words.....

I am feeling quite low about things. I am bogged down with chairmanship of a wonderful organisation with a useless team who just turn their backs on the whole set up and leave me to flounder alone. Phone messages aren't returned, emails aren't answered.... requests are ignored. How does one cope with that?

Last week a newsletter should have reached the members - it hasn't done so as I haven't written it. We can't afford to post it and I have not been given the emailable list I was assured was possible - I'm now told it can't be done. Yet no one has noticed and no one seems to care about any of it. So why should I?

This means that other articles that need writing are left undone as I can't seem to do the ones I enjoy because I need to spend time on the ones I don't want to do. Everything is just too much effort.

So until that is resolved I won't be coming here..... much as I want to it seems a betrayal to spend the time here when I should be doing other things.

CONCERNING BODY PARTS

2006-08-15T13:48:00.000+01:00

It's true - blondes do have more fun!

It is only two weeks ago that I went to the hairdresser and then to The Magic Circle where I was greeted in a whole different way from past times. It had taken only the addition of some blonde bits and a full fringe to make people somehow treat me in a more light hearted and fun kind of way - marvellous stuff. And in return I feel more relaxed around people like that, I can tease them when they tease me, it's really a whole new world.

Meanwhile...

Life dramas continue in the Cox/Davis household. My back, which isn't great at the best of times, has decided to play up big time on the eve of going to Edinburgh. I decided not to waste any time and went straight to the chiropractor only to discover my guy was away and a charming, excited colleague treated me instead. She was full of her wedding in ten days' time and she gave great massage... but not good enough it seemed as, once the 'bruising' had died down the original back pain was still there, only to worsen over the weekend.

So it was back there yesterday and - boy did Jeremy find the bad place! If I hadn't been laying down i would've passed out with the pain as he immediately prodded exactly where the troublespot was. Hopefully the treatment will hold up and an additional one on Friday should sort it enough. It's chairs that are the problem. I can't find any one at home that's comfortable enough to sit on so I get up aching after sitting in front of the computer or TV. Edinburgh isn't going to help with backless benches and other temporary seating arrangements....

Rob has also been suffering, his problem being an infected tooth and gum.

He had to resort to a very expensive trip to an emergency dentist on Saturday with a root canal treatment lined up for tomorrow. So he's been in constant pain and hasn't been sleeping at all.

So we've been a miserable pair - only enlightened last week by an overnight visit from a couple of Aussie magicians, Tim Ellis and SueAnn Webster, on their way home from FISM. We had a great time playing tourists with them and taking them to the Roman remains of St. Albans, stopping off at the oldest pub in the country (naturally), then a meal at our favourite local restaurant where they are now offering two courses for £8.95. I'm not telliing you where it is in case you all go there and there's no room for us!

GREAT BOOKS - GREAT READS

2006-08-06T01:29:00.000+01:00

I found it fascinating to read my friend Brian Sibley's blog where he comments on the Times' 100 Greatest Books which all turned out to be Penguin titles to celebrate the 60th year of the publishing house. Brian, encouraged by a comment on his blog, then went on to list his top ten of all time from any publsher and it got me thinking about mine.

Well what makes a great book? To me it's one I can read over and over again and I am known to read a lot of children's books as they are comforting and sometimes, in stressful periods, that's what I need. Old friends which whisk me away to other places and other times.
So - a strange mixture and I can't put them in any numerical order:

Pollyanna by Eleanor H Porter

Almonds and Raisins by Maisie Moscoe

Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfeild

Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone by JK Rowling

David Copperfield by Charles Dickens

Evening Class by Maeve Binchy

Mary Poppins by P L Travers

Anne of Green Gables by L M Montgomery

Alices Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

What Katy Did at School by Susan Coolidge

Warned you it was a strange list... Well I think that's my list; I keep thinking of more and more books I could add... like anything by Penny Vincenzi, anything by Pamela Brown but particularly her Blue Door series and on and on....

SAD OR WHAT?

2006-07-28T22:59:00.000+01:00

It all started with a phone call from a fellow member of The Magic Circle suggesting lunch with us the following day. We meet up at a pub/restaurant near to his home every couple of months and yesterday was a chance to get together before he flew out to Majorca for his annual summer jaunt.

I'd been out the week before and bought some new lightweight summer tops so decided to wear one for our meeting. I felt reasonably smart, as one always does in new clothes and, although there was a brief downpour soon after we arrived, we were happy to sit out in the garden under a large gazebo and chat our way through the afternoon.

It was about two hours after we arrived that the two guys on the table behind Rob got up to leave. One of them came across to me and bent down to speak low and slow into my ear.

"I thought I ought to say something, hope you don't mind..." he began. And I turned to look at him, thinking he was going to explain that he had seen me performing somewhere recently and had enjoyed my work.

Instead he continued:"I think you ought to know that you still have a hanging ticket on the back of your tee shirt!"

Oh the HORROR of it! I thanked him and grabbed behind me to pull away the offending item.

What made it all the more horrific was that printed large so that the entire garden area and passersby could see, was the following: XL £4....

IT'S TOO HOT!

2006-07-28T01:04:00.000+01:00

Yes I know, no prized for stating the 'bleedin' obvious!' But it's too hot to sit here at the computer; too hot to think of anything worth writing about; too hot to do anything at all....

So I'll just sit here and listen listlessly to a back catalogue of last week's radio programmes whilst idly doing the jigsaws on jigzone.com - one of the greatest time wasters around. Well, it's great not to have anything to do for a while.....

IF IN DOUBT - GO BLOGGING!

2006-07-18T15:24:00.000+01:00

I shouldn't be blogging right now; I should be editing a magazine right now. But I'm stuck, well and truly so here I am instead!

You see.. it's like this...

Although I was delighted to get Photoshop elements for Christmas I am not so sure I am enjoying it now. I just can't get the damned thing to do what I whttp://www.blogger.com/ant - I've a book all about it but it only tells me how do do things I don't want to do or the obvious things I can do already.

What I wanted to do, why I wanted it in the first place, is to take a photo and cut round the subject so that it stands out better on a page. My designer/printer says it's very time consuming work and he isn't prepared to do it which I appreciate but I really wnat to do it myself.

I was shown how about four months ago but I have lost the knack and my head won't get around how it needs to be done. I can 'lasso' my subject but then what? If I make a new layer it still shows the background when the layer is opened although it doesn't show the background on the thumbnail - and when I try to use the eraser on the background nothing happens. I can't seem to get it right!

You really don't have a clue what I'm talking about have you? Well, to be honest, I don't think I have either!

IT'S JUST A MAGAZINE? IT'S MORE A WAY OF LIFE!

2006-07-14T01:17:00.000+01:00

Bringing Rob home, hopefully cured, from the hospital yesterday means that life takes on a semblance of normality and I take stock of what is around, only to realise... Secrets magazine should be finished by early next week and I haven't anything to put in it!!! Help!

When I took over as editor I thought that this was a magazine that would have loads of people wanting to write for it and it would be my job to say: 'not this month, maybe there'll be room next time!' but it isn't like that at all. The same people send stuff so I have two on-going series but I don't want it to be too predictible so when I went to the computer equivalent of the Secrets cupboard today what did I find? So far:

Two articles which are continuations of on-going series as mentioned above - two tricks by the regular contributor whose pieces are very suitable for the younger readers, one trick which the workshop attendees learned last month and needs to be shared with the rest - and that's it! Nothing else. So that's five pages - and hang on, there's an interview I did that didn't get

used last time. So that is seven pages covered.... One short review of a trick; need more... and I've found the notes from an interview I did whilst at Blackpool so that will help. Nine pages then... still need more stuff. I have nothing for the double News pages; no news. I've not been to any magic conventions since last time; I don't know of anything wildly exciting except for FISM and I'm not going to that, too expensive to visit Sweden for the magic olympics - maybe next time.

I also need to find people who will appear at J-Day in October so that I can publish that in the magazine - but who to ask? Most of those I would dearly love to have on board have been thrown out of The Magic Circle and I don't know if I'd get into heaps of trouble inviting them along. Yet it's our tenth anniversary and so I'd love to have them on board.

And now it's Friday - and I have to stop all this to concentrate on the weekend bookings. I said I continue to cover Rob's work this weekend. After that I consider his convalescence at an end and it's every man or woman for him/herself.

And I'll get back to the magazine - now what on earth am I going to fill it with????

THREE'S A CROWD - A TRIPLET OF DISASTERS

2006-07-10T10:52:00.000+01:00

The first disaster -Rob ending up in hospital on Saturday - see previous blog.

The second disaster - Sunday was the day that Tim Shoesmith and I managed to get Rob's car back as it was still at the venue where he'd collapsed. Then I got home from hospital visiting, and popping in to a friend's wedding reception. It was around eleven o'clock on Sunday night. I had been freezing half litre bottles of water and taking them to the hospital so I refilled the empties and took them out to our garage where the freezer stood - with its door wide open!

This was a large upright freezer and the shelves were now dripping with molten icecream, and filled with very squishy packets of ready meals and frozen veg. I just took everything out, put it in cardboard boxes, and chucked it into the wheelie bin. Then I realised that I could cook the raw stuff so I rummaged in the bin and found a piece of beef, two chickens and some duck legs - like anyone rummaging in a waste bin would do!

At four a.m. I was still waiting for the last of these to roast in the oven before going to bed.

The third disaster - Wednesday was an easy day to meander up to visit Rob - who had been suddenly transferred to St. Mary's in London that afternoon! Drove to town, parking in Regents Park and getting a cab to save stress of find somewhere safe and legal to leave the car in Paddington. The trouble started when I got back to the park.....

This car was dead - ded, dead! I couldn't even get the hazard lights to work! So, totally undaunted I called the AA.

No way! They said that my membership had lapsed, the bank had messed up the direct debit, and consequently I couldn't have a man come to rescue me after all!! That was when the week fell in on me. I didn't know how to cope.

Eventually I called Mandy in Bath and she tried to cajoule the AA to no effect; they said I had to take out a new membership, my membership since 1990 was of no use at all. I said I'd rather join the RAC but, according to Yellow Pages, you can only do this during office hours and it was now 10.30. So Mandy joined me to the AA and they said they'd send a man. Whilst this was going on Mandy had also called a friend, Andrew who lived around the corner. He had walked over with a bottle of water and a bag of healthy snacks - but hadn't brought his car....

At 11 p.m. the AA called to say a man would arrive around midnight; I emphasised, once again, that the park gates closed at midnight and both I and car had to be removed long before that. He called back to say a man would be with me in half an hour.... Thirty five minutes later and nothing. Andrew, by this time, had gone to get his Bentley and we jump started my car and the engine started first time. I drove home, heart in mouth, but it's been fine ever since.

And the AA man? Well, we tried to call and cancel but couldn't get through at all. They called me, however, at 1 a.m. to let me know what time they'd be arriving in the park! Next morning I cancelled the membership and joined the RAC.

Yep - they sure come in threes....

HELLO, I'M A GUEST AT A WEDDING AND THE MAGICIAN HAS JUST KEELED OVER....

2006-07-02T00:27:00.000+01:00

These are not the words you want to hear on a voicemail when you listen to your messages just after finishing a gig beyond deepest, darkest Chelmsford! It was an incredibly hot day, 31+ degrees, and I'd been working with another magician in a walled garden with no trees! We'd done a two hour reception out there before close up at the tables - in a marquee where the air-con wasn't at all effective!

And now this....

Yesterday we'd worked - him on a boat for five hours in Oxford (where he got a very red face from the sun), then on to an evening gig in Cambridge. I, meanwhile worked at a corporate event in Cheltenham.

Rob had a particularly large workload as a colleague, Phil Perry, had gone to visit his daughter in the US, got dehydrated and collapsed, hitting his head on concrete and had just had an operation for a blood clot. Rob had been given two of the jobs Phil couldn't cover. One was the wedding today.....

My mind went blank - I couldn't remember where he was working and when I did I couldn't even remember which county he was in! The guy who called me was very helpful when I got back to him and eventually told me an ambulance had taken Rob to Lister Hospital, Stevenage which is easy to find as I'd done shows there.

It seems that the heat had aggravated Rob's heart condition and they can't get his heart rate down. It's no longer zooming up and down the scale as it has in the past but is sticking between 130 and 145 which is higher than a normal 70/75. So they have kept him in Coronary Care Unit - they say overnight but I can't believe they'lll let him home tomorrow. I think it's more likely to be Monday at the earliest... and here I sit.... alone and petrified....

2006-06-29T01:34:00.000+01:00

Visited my mum today; how quickly the awful effects of Alzheimer's Disease spread through a personality. It is devastating to witness and to deal with. I can't believe the strength of people who have to look after partners who are still living with them even once they have become incontinent and argumentative, paranoid and hostile.

My mum has always been a fun-loving person. She enjoys life and enjoys being amused. She has a great sense of humour.
She is now on a floor of the Nightingale Home which gives her great dignity, where the staff will always go that extra mile. I admire them for all they do and all they have to put up with from dealing with double incontinence, with people like my mum who no longer uses a toilet but smears her waste products over the walls, her bed and herself as well as hiding the stuff in cupboards and drawers. I admire the staff for taking some dreadful verbal racist abuse from people they look after with such tenderness and love. You can see the love they have for my mum. Yet i fear it's all too late....

As I got out of the lift on her floor this afternoon my mum was walking past and I was able to call her; it took a moment or two for her to realise it was me and she greeted me with something like "About time too, where have you been?" It's difficult to understand what she's saying now - her sentences contain words that don't relate although she obviously believes that she's making sense. Now and again she'll indicate that she knows she's spoken rubbish but for the most part you have to try to make responses that might just fit the bill. 'Really?', " Did you think so?", 'You are so right!" etc

We collected her friend who used to be mum's inseparable companion when she lived on the floor above. This is the only downside to the move to Ronson Floor - leaving Doris behind. It's set mum back, particularly as she can no longer talk sense enough to make new friends. We all went down to the coffee shop for tea and then out to sit in the gardens for a while. This was all fine; mum was 'too hot' when the sun came out and 'too cold' when it went behind a cloud - par for the course really. At one point another lady, Eva, joined us and she and Doris talked about the fact that they were getting older. Eva maintained that she didn't get old, she stayed young all the time. She turned to mum for confirmation and what she got was "The dog that came in the other day was very nice; I played with it'. Unfortunately Eva thought mum had referred to HER as a dog! So that took a bit of sorting out.

All went well till we got back to mum's floor and then I saw the curtain come down on her face; she shut herself off from everyone and if we spoke to her or tried to disract her she got verbally aggressive and agitated. She no longer knew me or responded.

That was the third week in a row that this had happened - it doesn't get any easier to bear....

WEDDINGS.... THE NEXT GENERATION

2006-06-28T01:30:00.000+01:00

There was a time when I went through the wedding seasons with my friends and contemporaries . I was the first (more fool me!) and after that everyone around me seemed to get hitched. Then it was the baby years, again I was the first and the rest followed suit.

As the years have passed, and the various family celebrations have come and gone, I now find myself at a time when a second wave of friends' children are now in the frame where weddings are concerned. The earlier ones have been and gone and done it and are now making aged grandparents out of people I used to rate as modern up to date contemporaries. Not any more - they are now drooling over their offspring's offspring, babysitting and bragging about the first smiles and movements, eeuwww!

Anyway back to the weddings. The first one was announced in a phone call last week and will be happening this coming Sunday. Some people would jump to the wrong conclusion - quick annoucement, must be pregnant. I know better - Elly is from another country (can't remember which but came over here via France where he and Debbie met) so the visa must be running out! Cynical? Moi? Surely not..... They have nowhere to live as yet, staying with our friend Penny for the unforseeable future. So wedding late Sunday afternoon at All Saints church in Hertford then back home for nibbles in the garden.

Meanwhile - cousin Barbara's eldest, Danielle, called me on my mobile phone on Sunday afternoon to announce that she and Malcolm, her live-in partner were now engaged, complete with ring. This wedding will take place in Mauritius in October and only the parents are invited so Barbara and Len will fly there from their new home in Bermuda and I, thankfully, don't have to be there even though I'm Danielle's adopted mum whilst Barb is away. it's less than a year since Barbara and Len got married themselves; as you can see in the photo, this was a very happy day. None of us stopped smiling the whole time.

All these weddings make me feel very claustrophobic - I know people won't let the occasions pass without comments regarding our unmarried state. And I do wonder why I'm still on the shelf... it makes so much financial sense to get married, don't worry about a proper 'do', just run down to the local register office with a friend or two as witnesses would do. I don't even want to change my name, just feel secure that's all. I know I've got the engagement ring but even so...

Oh well....

Oi Vey!

2006-06-15T10:54:00.000+01:00

People never cease to amaze me! I'm still wondering about the logic of a phone booking I got the night before last and the after effects.

Rob told me that a woman had called and was interested in booking me on my birthday in August. He didn't know what it was for. Whilst collapsed on the sofa after my boating adventure a Mrs H. called back.

She explained that she'd got my number from someone whose group party I'd done in December. It had been an all girls' get together, ages from 7 to 15, and they hadn't been the easiest to entertain! However the organiser had been delighted (!) and so I now had Mrs H on the phone....

This time it was for a summer day camp, over 250 children between the ages of 3 and 13. I suggested two half hour shows, splitting the age groups and this was agreed. Mrs H kept referring to the fact that 'your father said...' but would not take any notice when I corrected her; I even used the term 'husband' for simplicity but it was no good, Rob was still deemed my father!
I mentioned the fact it was my birthday on that date - she didn't acknowledge I'd even spoken.... just explained how important it was for me to start my show in Stamford Hill at 10 a.m. sharp!

I was then asked if I would not refer to myself as a magician but call myself a conjuror instead as being an orthodox Jewish community the word magic could be misconstrued. I said that was fine, she could bill me as a conjuror if she wished...

I took the details of the booking for the contract and was so busy at the time that I didn't really take much notice of the fact that each time I mentioned magic Mrs H, rather condescendingly, suggested another word such as 'trick' or 'effect'. She also requested that I wore a skirt, not for religious reasons you understand but 'then the children will feel comfortable with you'.

I was tired and didn't give the thing much thought till the next day - and then I started to realise the implications. When you are working your standard routines that you have used for years, how often does the word 'magic' get said? 'Magic wand', 'magic words', 'now the magic will happen'; would there be an embargo on 'Abracadabra' or 'hocus pocus'? Bearing in mind that she didn't listen to anything I said on the phone, this woman was quite capable of walking into my performing space during the show and telling me what not to do!

So yesteday evening I called her. 'I have thought about our conversation yesterday evening', I said, 'and I've decided I dont' want to take the bookiing after all'.

'Fine' she replied, 'can you recommend someone else?'

'Not with your restrictions, no. In fact I would suggest that you don't book a magician at all, it's not what you are lookinig for'.

And that was that! No argument from her, no discussion - and I came away feeling that I'd done the right thing, that Mrs H could quite possibly have got 'cold feet' about inviting a magician to entertain her precious children and pulled out at the last moment anyway.

And I'll have a much better time that day - after all, it'll be my Birthday!

A 'QUIET' DAY ON THE RIVER? NEVER!

2006-06-14T09:19:00.000+01:00

Working on a river boat in June sounds idyllicI - until I looked at the problems of getting to the pier in the first place. I've worked on boats often enough before; you get onto the craft along the embankment as the day's commuters are rushing home and you spend a couple of hours performing miracles to an audience who eventually want to watch you after the lure of the passing riverbank wears off.

This time the gig, for a group of carers during 'Carers' week', was starting at 11 a.m. (and you know how much I don't do mornings!). It was also kicking off at Greenwich Pier which is a very long way from our house - and on the other side of the river too.

Sat. Nav. would carry me through; but when I checked out the route a couple of times via the AA it appeared that, whether I went on motorways or not, I was going to hit the Blackwall Tunnel during rush hour. The estimated journey time was an hour so I reckoned on allowinig three.

Rob then discovered a smarter way to get there and my plans were finalised: still allow three hours but now I'd leave home at 8, allow an hour to an hour and a quarter for travel to Euston - a journey normally of 30/40 minutes. Park at the Ibis Hotel, get a cab to the Savoy Pier and catch a commuter boat at 9.55 to Greenwhich. It sounded so restful and easy....

Yeah, right!

I don't know how people manage to get to work every day by 9.30. I left home at 8, in spite of the alarm not working, yet I arrived in Euston at 9.45!

So I'd missed the boat! On top of that the Ibis car park was full so I left my car at the station park instead and went to the cab rank. There is no exaggeration in saying that the queue held around 200 people - it snaked along a corridor, up some stairs and into the station concourse where it continued for some length. No chance there, then....

I walked out of the station, along to the Ibis, up Drummond Street to the main road and eventually found a cab which was willing to stop. The journey cost me £30 - but we were there by 10.40.

To add insult to injury - the coach of carers was 40 minutes late!

All's well that ends well....

Err - not quite....

The boat was crewed by some friendly young Australians. When they heard about my taxi dash across London they told me the boat was kept at the Embankment so they could give me a lift back and save me the fare from Greenwich - wasn't that nice? -ish...

Once the party was over and the boat was empty, I had a wonderful time sitting by an open door watching the views as we motored down the river. Whenever I'd been on a London boat in the past I'd always worked so this time I really enjoyed the glory of the riverbank and the wonder of the architecture we passed on the way.

We were in the middle of the river when one of the guys said: 'Oh, by the way we anchor here as we can't get any nearer to the pier but we'll take you in on the work boat.' Eh? What?

Two other men came on board from the side of a large and rusty craft and everyone rushed around, tying up ropes here and there. Then a bathtub toy came alongside and a flimsy and very grubby life support was thrown at me to be worn over my smart, if somewhat crumpled, outfit.

Now I'm not built for leaping - but leaping is what I had to do! First I had to leap down into the little motor thingy to be driven from the front of the cruiser to the back (or was it the other way round) and then - I had to leap (?) up to an opening high above me to access another pleasure cruiser which was moored alongside yet another. I know the 'captain' was surprised I was still there when he anchored the original one - I am certain as I can be that I gave him no end of headache as he valiantly worked and worked until he wedged the side of the little boat as high up as he could against the side of the big one so that the height between the two was narrowed.

And then I had to leap, first onto the slippery side of the smaller one and finally up (with a skinny young man pulling on my arms) into the other.

A brief walk across the decks of two cruisers and I finally reached dry land - 'Turn right and the station is just across the road' I was advised by the grinning crew who'd found me most entertaining, in a very different way from the norm.

Underground? Train? After all that? No way -

'Taxi!"

THE SHOW MUST GO ON; THE SHOW WENT ON; WE SHOWED 'EM!

2006-06-05T00:34:00.000+01:00

Well, we're back from the golf club where we 'put on a show' and all went well. The figure raised for the Nightingale was £1000 so we're pleased with that.

Between 70 and 80 people were there; the supper was plentiful, the magic amazed them and Rob's cabaret reduced them to tears of laughter.

I enjoyed the evening on a personal level. Some of these people knew me as a married suburban housewife. They had viewed me with some suspicion 'Mandy does tricks now? She thinks she's a magician?' - you could read their thoughts as they said 'hello, long time no see'.

But the magic really blew them away and whenhttp:I finished at each table the attitude was so different from when I'd started, when I'd walked into the hall. By the time Rob had slaughtered them with his act they was a look of respect that had been lacking earlier. The director of the home came straight over to us to tell us how much he'd enjoyed us; no more slight nods as he races down the corridors in future, I bet he talks to me in the same way he does the relatives in the big cars!

I know it sounds daft, I know it doesn't matter in the scheme of things - but gosh, it makes me feel good....

OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF OUR HEARTS ETC ETC...

2006-06-04T01:35:00.000+01:00

It seems we've taken on more than we thought we were for tomorrow (or now it's tonight's) charity event. We were in conversation with people who form a committee called Kentongales. They raise money for the Nightingale where my mum lives. We offered/agreed to perform for an evening they would arrange - supper with magic. All sounded great but their marketing was abysmal!

The leaflets I was given to advertise the event were badly put together with clip art cartoon magicians' heads and rabbits out of hats. No one has bothered to find out about us, whether we are amateur enthusiasts who wave silks around or whether we can actually sustain an evening's event!

It turns out that the evening starts at 7 pm and goes on till 10.30 and it's up to us to keep the people entertained. They have managed to raise 70 people - 7 tables and we are supplying one of those. Earlier I made a call and was told we were to do whatever we wanted. So we're hoping the evening will run like this:

Arrival 7 - 7.30pm with me making balloons for as many of the ladies as possible; supper is on table (quiche and salad bits) so everyone eats including us; then during dessert raffle tickets sold and we'll run Rob's quiz with Heads or Tails game; close up magic from us both. Ali Bongo's puzzles on table for table entries throughout this time plus coffee and danish pastries (I think); then raffle drawn, another heads or tails quiz and finally Rob's cabaret. Hopefully that'll bring us to 10.15 - 10.30 and we can all go home.

Wish us luck with it.... I just hope I can keep my cool with these incompetent people.

THE WHERE, WHAT, WHO AND WHY OF ME!

2006-06-02T10:29:00.000+01:00

This is my potted history - used as my original profile, you know the one that got lost in the ether! Thought I'd fill in the gaps:

I was born in London, the Middlesex Hospital to be precise, and grew up in Edgware, Middx. I have a brother who is 5 and 3/4 years younger than me because I was an ill child (you work it out - all I know was that I had to have an operation to bore a hole in my nose/head as the mucus was travelliing to the brain! Yeh, I know - it explains a lot, ha ha!) That is why parents put off having another child.

I went to an all boys' private school for the first three years of education; mum had been a teacher there when it was co-ed and it got sold after I'd been there a term but they agreed to keep me on. At seven years old I had a nervous breakdown and was off school for three months because of the pressures there; moved to another private school till I was eleven then to a girls' grammar.

I left school after A Levels to work on Horse & Hound, then Woman magazine. Got married too young and had child ten months later; he now lives with a wife in Phoenix, Arizona and I haven't heard from him for two years even though we were very close up until he left and we have never rowed or anything!

I divorced after 17 years of that marriage and lived alone for four before meeting Rob Cox, deputy head turned professional comedy magician; we've been together now since 1993. My dad died two months before that and my mum now has Alzheimer's and lives in a home in South London so I'm a carer as you never stop being one, even when they are in a home. She is very happy and so am I - with my life of magic and Rob and my friends who are so very supportive of me and everything I do.

I love my work as a close up magician; I enjoy meeting people, performing for them and their enjoyment and absolute wonder at the magic. I also love being involved with the Young Magicians Club and my work as both chairman and particularly as editor of their glossy magazine. That is very much a childhood dream come true for me - I wanted to be a journalist since the age of seven.

Anyway - now you have the background to me we can move forward. Catch ya later.....

2006-06-01T12:23:00.000+01:00

How annoying can it be? I couldn't access my first blog, no matter what I did! When I tried to enter the site my user name and password were already in the access box on the home page for me to 'click' on but when I did so I wasn't recognised and nothing I did would get me in to write more or to add word verification or any of those things that bloggers want to do.

So I've started all over - this won't beat me!

I had a very nice evening yesterday. I went to a book reading, something I seldom do. It took place at Daunt Books in Marylebone High Street and if you love books, then this is the place to go! It is primarily a travel books expert but that is quite a wide ranging heading and besides, they have all sort of books for all sorts of tastes and ages. The shop has three floors, one in the basement and galleries above the main floor - just like you'd imagine the library in a stately home.

The author was Stuart McLean, who tells stories about the Vinyl Cafe owner Dave and his family. These are funny, sometimes sad, tales with so much of real life in them that quite often it's what isn't said that gets you laughing, the long pauses as your brain races to the conclusion before the author voices the words - wonderful timing, excellent stuff.

There were about 100 people to listen to this Canadian DJ, who has a Sunday programme playing music and tellling the tales, who can be heard on cbc.com or, as in my case, on BBC7 just performing his stories in front of a live audience.

Afterwards, having done the thing of buying both the author's volumes and also a comprehensive guide to Bermuda (!), more of that another time, I went across the road to a turkish/moroccan type cafe which was very busy and ate my meal chatting to two people who also had Daunt's bags on the table. One lady was an actress who had mostly worked abroad - is that the new euphamism for resting these days?

Came home to solitary confinement as Rob was working in Plymouth and staying over but ended up chatting till 4 a.m. with Bruce Kalver in Michigan or some such US city (only three hours from NY, he tells me, so no excuse for not dropping by when we go to lecture in NY!)

Enough now - need to eat as sugar level was only 3.5 an hour a