Oi Vey!

People never cease to amaze me! I'm still wondering about the logic of a phone booking I got the night before last and the after effects.

Rob told me that a woman had called and was interested in booking me on my birthday in August. He didn't know what it was for. Whilst collapsed on the sofa after my boating adventure a Mrs H. called back.

She explained that she'd got my number from someone whose group party I'd done in December. It had been an all girls' get together, ages from 7 to 15, and they hadn't been the easiest to entertain! However the organiser had been delighted (!) and so I now had Mrs H on the phone....

This time it was for a summer day camp, over 250 children between the ages of 3 and 13. I suggested two half hour shows, splitting the age groups and this was agreed. Mrs H kept referring to the fact that 'your father said...' but would not take any notice when I corrected her; I even used the term 'husband' for simplicity but it was no good, Rob was still deemed my father!
I mentioned the fact it was my birthday on that date - she didn't acknowledge I'd even spoken.... just explained how important it was for me to start my show in Stamford Hill at 10 a.m. sharp!



I was then asked if I would not refer to myself as a magician but call myself a conjuror instead as being an orthodox Jewish community the word magic could be misconstrued. I said that was fine, she could bill me as a conjuror if she wished...

I took the details of the booking for the contract and was so busy at the time that I didn't really take much notice of the fact that each time I mentioned magic Mrs H, rather condescendingly, suggested another word such as 'trick' or 'effect'. She also requested that I wore a skirt, not for religious reasons you understand but 'then the children will feel comfortable with you'.

I was tired and didn't give the thing much thought till the next day - and then I started to realise the implications. When you are working your standard routines that you have used for years, how often does the word 'magic' get said? 'Magic wand', 'magic words', 'now the magic will happen'; would there be an embargo on 'Abracadabra' or 'hocus pocus'? Bearing in mind that she didn't listen to anything I said on the phone, this woman was quite capable of walking into my performing space during the show and telling me what not to do!

So yesteday evening I called her. 'I have thought about our conversation yesterday evening', I said, 'and I've decided I dont' want to take the bookiing after all'.

'Fine' she replied, 'can you recommend someone else?'

'Not with your restrictions, no. In fact I would suggest that you don't book a magician at all, it's not what you are lookinig for'.

And that was that! No argument from her, no discussion - and I came away feeling that I'd done the right thing, that Mrs H could quite possibly have got 'cold feet' about inviting a magician to entertain her precious children and pulled out at the last moment anyway.

And I'll have a much better time that day - after all, it'll be my Birthday!